


Bruised Apples, Lightning Storms

by Cuddlebug1603



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Abstract, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Character Death, Blood, F/F, Fluff, Hope you like it!, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Old Writing Reposted, Out of Character, POV First Person, Slightly graphic, Swearing, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, With edits here and there, but that's kind of the point, switching POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 32,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21689206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuddlebug1603/pseuds/Cuddlebug1603
Summary: An Appledash fic, designed in a world where Equestria is completely ordinary.Well, almost. Rainbow is an abuse survivor. Applejack has stewed quietly over her own tragic past for years. And neither of them have anything to do with the Mane 6.But what will draw them together, after everything else in life has gone so horribly, disgustingly wrong?
Relationships: Applejack/Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie/Twilight Sparkle
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	1. Disobedience

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning(s): Parental Abuse, Swearing, Mentions of Suicide

This is bullshit. She was only trying to break the school record. Her latest tricks and maneuvers were enough to trigger the not-so-legendary Sonic Rainboom, smashing the old record and, subsequently, destroying half the Academy.

Her punishment? Expulsion. No talk for her future, no meeting, just swift, cold justice. Apparently her previous screw-ups tallied into their decision-making process. An irresponsible student, they called her. A menace, they whispered when they thought she couldn't hear. Or maybe they just didn't care enough to conceal their opinions.

The chariot taxi ride home was brutal, because she knew what was about to happen. If she was expelled, that meant no graduation. Rainbow knew exactly who wouldn't be happy with that, and the very idea of what they would do made her want to jump out of the vehicle and run as fast as possible in the opposite direction.

In the front seats, her parents did what they could to keep each other calm. Her mother wrapped a wing around her husband, holding him closer. Wrapping a leg around his wife absentmindedly, Rainbow's father stared out into the setting sky.

The image almost made her vomit. To some passerby, this display might look cute and pure, but she knew all too well the reality of the situation. Her father was seething, grinding his teeth and clenching his partner roughly. Too fucking roughly. Not that it was unusual.

She would've stood up for her mom, but knew there was no point. Neither of them payed attention to anything she said, viewing her as the by-product of an unholy marriage. Same cliche shit as in the movies; abusive husband, submissive wife, rebellious kid. No one could change it, especially a dumbass flight-school dropout.

Arriving back at the house, Dash sped through the living room and up the stairs, almost shutting and locking her door before hearing an overly-composed yell.

"Rainbow Dash, get back down here, now!"

A pit in her stomach dropped. 'God dammit. I was so close to avoiding it...'

Trudging out of the safety of her bedroom, Rainbow plastered a blank expression to her face before descending the stairs and into the common area.

'Keep your cool, don't let him get under your skin. It'll be over quicker and easier if you just tune him out, like usual.'

There was her dad, sitting obnoxiously in his recliner, leering as if his daughter was a piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe. He usually took on this hateful expression in her presence. It barely crossed her mind anymore. 

Tense silence filled the air.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself, Ma'am?" He spat, looking her up and down like some kinda' sheriff.

"Nothing in particular, Sir." She shrugged, scratching her chin and gazing around the room. Though she knew it'd piss him off, it was only natural habit.

"This isn't funny, girl. You just got expelled."

"Oh, is that what happened? I must have not been listening."

His hoof clenched on the arm of the chair. It was caved in from all the previous conversations which were all suspiciously similar to this one. "Of course you weren't. When God gave all individuals of ponykind ears, he just missed you."

"Who says God is a he? Maybe they're gender neutral, or a trans-female." Rainbow pondered.

Okay, so maybe her plan to stay neutral was failing. Her dad, of course, despised everything to do with radical ideas. She was now deliberately winding him up; a tactic which never boded well with her future. But for reasons unbeknownst to herself, Rainbow found her motivation for maintaining the peace pretty...slackened.

"Don't you even start that crap with me. The topic you are so desperately avoiding is hanging over your head like an anvil. I'm just trying to make you see the consequences of your actions."

"Is there some point you want to make other than to let me know I fucked up? That's the only reason you ever talk to me, to tell me again and again the mistakes I've made my whole life."

"You're a loose cannon. I obviously can't trust you, when I think you're just going to explode all the time."

"You've never trusted me! It's not my fault that you're a terrible dad, and I don't open up to you because you always treat me and mom like objects." 

"Stop bringing your mother into problems that you brought onto yourself. I don't appreciate the attitude, Rainbow. Apologize right now for insulting me."

"No."

"Excuse me, am I hearing you correctly?"

"I'm sorry, I misspoke. I meant I'd rather jump off the highest building in Cloudsdale than tell you I didn't mean every word and more. You are the worst father in Equestria, and the most misogynistic, egotistical pony I've ever had the displeasure of being related to."

He sat, stunned. She'd never said anything so disrespectful towards him in her entire life, and it felt exhilarating, finally having a one-up on him.

Then he jumped out of his recliner, kicking it over with a back leg, advancing on her with mad, raging eyes.

"How dare you speak to me that way in my own fucking house. You are my daughter, and will regard me with respect and reverence. I will not tolerate this impotence for any longer."

This was new. 

He got much too close, wings flared, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Your life has been nothing but mistakes and neglect. The second Windy told me she was expecting, I knew you were going to be terrible. I wanted to get rid of you, before you became the plague you are today. But no, that was terrible, she said. So here you are, the miserable sack of shit you are, finally dropped out of school. No future, no friends, and a family who couldn't give a damn if you were alive or dead. Here's something you should consider; kill yourself. All you are is a burden to everyone, and a useless pegasus."

Reflexes kicking in, Rainbow bolted up the stairs, successfully fleeing her violent father by locking herself in her room. Stumbling to her bed, she curled up into a ball, vision blurry with tears she wouldn't allow to escape.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning(s): Shock, Harmful Thoughts, Self-Hatred, Panic Attack, Implication of Self-Harm

Rainbow had lain in bed for hours, unwilling to fall asleep: It meant time passing, and she did not want that.

'But what do I want now? What do I even have left to live for?'

She rubbed her face with her hooves.

After three years, she had no clue how she had managed to last even that long in the shithole that was Cloudsdale Junior Speedsters. Constant bullying, lack of proper adult supervision...it had been nearly impossible to deal with, for every day of her life. Now she'd never have to put up with it again.

_A pegasus who doesn't graduate_ _won't_ _amount to anything._

She could feel her negativity slowly ebbing away at the little confidence she had left.

_You were a losing battle to begin with._ _No one ever thought you could make it and_ _look at_ _where you_ _are now. What a pathetic failure, living up to all their expectations._ _Especially your parents'._

She frowned, shifting guiltily into her covers, hiding herself in the sheets as she thought about them. 'How much had they expected of me, really?'

_Of course you'd like to blame everything on them. You're a terrible daughter, and_ _your father_ _would have been happier with_ _a colt, anyway. It's all your fault he loathes you the way he does._

Rainbow had lived with this type of self-interaction for as long as she could remember. A voice that sounded like her, but cold, and brittle. When she tried to confront it, their arguments only grew more logical, pessimistic, smoother; easy to understand.

"It's so much easier to just listen to it," she stuttered into the pillow, "They, they were right all the time, a-and-and who am I to argue with the truth."

Though she secretly hated many things about herself, her stutter easily made the top three.

_Listening to me is the only way._

Anything the voice said sounded correct, but it felt so horrible to constantly back down from her own mind.

It was just something she had to face alone, because who else would understand what it's like, constantly having someone judging you, when there are no other outward influences?

_Who cares about your_ _insecurities? There are so many other ponies who are bettering themselves, while you sit on the sidelines of life_ _, squandering life's gifts. You are selfish and disgusting.  
_

Rainbow wasn't sure what the voice qualified as, but she didn't like talking to other ponies about it, because no one else seemed to know what it was.

... _You disappoint_ _everyone, and you see how much better Equestria would be if you'd just never been born in the first pla_ _ce. You wish your dad convinced had your mom to do the abortion all those long years ago; because it had been the right thing to do, and they both truly wanted it-  
_

Her mind suddenly cut off all thought, unwilling to process the voice any longer. She had gone into a sort of self-preservation mode.

_You're getting weaker~_

She jumped out of bed to distract her brain, her body falling into nervous habits as she paced the room, quietly praying for it all to go away. Her ears lay instinctively flat against her head to block out sounds that might endanger her remaining calm. Her eyes darted across the room, attempting to find a distraction; anything. Nothing.

_Disappointment. Horrible. Can't even fly. Ungrateful.  
_

Her walls, the soft, comforting barriers that they were constricted around her, and she gasped for air that either didn't come. The voice was rising to a scream.

_Deadbeat, No friends, No purpose-_

She dropped heavily to the floor, a bang her brain couldn't process echoing through the house and her body gaining several bruises. Curling up into a ball, she wrapped her wings around herself as if to shield away something of an evil nature.

Hot tears puddled onto her chest. All was silent, two small, unending streams flowing from her face, an adrenaline-fueled war pulsating through her body.

All she could see was her wings. They were cyan, the exact shade as the rest of her coat, interlacing beautifully right before her eyes.

Useless pegasus, huh? She'd show them a useless pegasus, alright...


	3. Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning(s): Self-harm, Blood, Harmful Thoughts

It was five o' clock by the time Rainbow had cleared her mind of the thoughts that had so nearly threatened to consume her. She didn't know where she should go, but she had leave, now.

Her saddlebags were packed hastily; a couple necessities forgotten here and there, but mostly acceptable. It was stupid of her, she knew, to not bring any Bits. She also knew she could have stolen her parents' cash, but she just couldn't.

"You're leaving because you're a burden. You don't give the mouse the cheese before the trap deploys." Rainbow muttered under her breath.

Rainbow looked out the large window to her room. It was half past six; she needed to leave at once if she wanted to avoid Mom and Dad. 'Mom and Dad _..._ '

Guilt saddled into her conscience. Was she supposed to say goodbye? To the two ponies who could've done so much more?

_What a fragile little pony, too selfish to bring herself pain to help others..._

An idea came to her as her eyes found the patch of blood and feathers scattering the floor. It ashamed her to see another problem she caused so carelessly, but if she took the time to clean it she'd be caught and somehow guilted into staying.

She recalled again her vile habit: this was a method she'd picked up in flight school. It was called _plucking_ , a pegasus method of self-harm, accomplished by picking and over-preening the healthy feathers of the wings, both long and short in variety.

But in her defense, she only did it during panic attacks...so, maybe four or five times a week.

At the foot of her bed, she picked up one of the longer feathers in her teeth. The point oozed, and she could taste the iron in her blood. 

She could write a message to her parents with this 'quill'. 'You know what? No. They don't deserve an explanation. For all I care, let them both rot in Hell.'

Dropping the quill onto the reddened patch of floor, she glanced into the mirror at her reflection. Her coat had been stained with occasional spots of ruby, clashing distinctly against the striking blue of her coat and feathers, an almost pleasant sight.

These new thoughts and feelings were so strange for her, she nearly threw her head back and laughed. The aftermath of the panic attack also did wonders to her mane and tail, and, with a logical break in her mind, she needed it to be changed. Obviously there was no helping it now; she had never wanted to alter the bright flashes of color before, so it's not like she had hair dye just lying around. Her mane was just the thing that made others look twice; it helped her stand out of the crowd.

But she didn't want that anymore.

Trotting nervously to the window, Rainbow looked out to the clouds, attempting to picture them as anything other than home. She took one last look around her room. Everything was the same as usual, absolutely none of it worth remembering.

Did this make her heartless? To look back and not appreciate any of it?

She didn't have to wait long before realizing it didn't matter. The time had come for her to restart her life.

Unsealing the latch to her window, she slid the panel up. A morning breeze filled her nostrils, calming her as she closed her eyes and breathed. The cloud layer that supported the city was thrown into darkness with the slow rising of the early sun. Praise Celestia the weather was planned to be nice and dry today.

_Maybe you're_ _a never-ending_ _issue. Wherever you go now, perhaps all their lives will be ruined, too._

"It goes without saying."

_So you are perfectly content_ _flying around,_ _ruining lives from place to place wherever you go_ _,_ _like a disease? Are you proud of yourself?_

"...No, I'm not."

And with that simple response, she jumped cleanly through her bedroom window, landing soundlessly on the fluffiest of clouds.

Frozen momentarily in place, she savored the feeling of finally taking action. It was really go time, no turning back. Any regrets she'd warned herself of before now seemed to not exist in the early morning sunrise.

Trotting away from her childhood home, she said goodbye to some fantasy, predestined life, because that had been her one and only chance for glory, family, or friends.

'Stop thinking like that. You can still have those things...'

Shaking her head, she redirected her attention to the nearest information sign. They were designed primarily for visiting unicorns and earth ponies, since any pegasus could just fly high enough to find their way around.

_Why would a normal pegasus need to leave the city? Your broken ass might as well be an earth pony._

Rainbow's face fell as she kept walking. That jab in particular really got to her, but she kept her main goal in mind. Using the sign to figure out her current location, she estimated getting to the outskirts of town would take about twenty minutes if she kept a steady pace.

"Thank Celestia." Rainbow breathed. Her normally brisk, raspy voice was smooth with the early hour. She was appreciative of her own timing; she'd be out of the city long before anypony started leaving their houses, since they would all still be asleep. It was only just getting light enough for her to see the map clearly. Recollecting herself, she began the correct route to the edge of Cloudsdale.

The path she took was ill-traveled. Most of the houses were gone, so she assumed she was going the right way. As the surroundings thinned, her mind became cramped with ideas of the unknown.

'What if I'm the only pegasus in all of-uh...down there?'

She groaned inwardly at herself, a slight hysteria rising in her. "I don't even know the name of where I'm going. I am such an _idiot_!" Never in her life had she been in complete control of her situation, and it was actually sort of thrilling.

Rainbow stopped dead. After the longest time of losing herself in the stress and intensity of the moment she was there; the edge. It was abandoned, no traces of life. The only movement came from the wind.

She didn't look over the side, but sat, gazing at the old beauty an empty sky. The morning had passed, leaving a clear horizon, dotted here and there with thin, wispy clouds. This is what all of Cloudsdale called beauty, a definition she herself had used her whole life. Standing, she grinned as she backed up away from the border, tripping over her own trembling legs like a filly. This was the one last string tying her to a planned life. Nothing else would ever hold her back the way she was being held now.

Closing her eyes, Rainbow stopped and spread her wings behind her, letting fresh energy flow through them for the first time in hours. It stung slightly as the breeze brushed at them, and they couldn't extend all the way without shaking, but it didn't matter. Now, she was almost free.

She took one step with her back leg and pawed the ground, folding and unfolding her wings. Narrowing her gaze, she began a countdown.

" Five, four, three, two..."

Rainbow almost looked back. At her city. At her childhood. At her life. But she found that she didn't want to anymore.

"One."

It was as if a gunshot had sounded. She began to gallop, beating her wings against her sides painfully, accelerating with the wind. Faster still she ran, adrenaline coursing with each breath. The soft cloud layer gave her hooves no support, and she stumbled dangerously, but she was almost there. The edge was seconds away.

Taking one last breath, she leaped-

And Rainbow almost forgot how to fly. The new place had an uneven, green terrain, and it was layered so sporadically! There were trees, bunches and bunches of them. Color flooded into her eyes, and she felt the need for a connection. Being here was simply natural. Everything seemed to be...alive.

Rainbow plummeted fifty feet before aligning herself and diving, laughing like a mad mare. This is what she had been missing for 17 years? She wanted more than anything to land: to feel the difference of the layers, to run and gallop over this whole, beautiful world. Just looking at the strange mixtures of colors could last hours in her mind, but she knew she couldn't land yet.

So with an extra spurt of speed, Rainbow flew away, marveling at the beauty of the passing landscape, searching for her first home.


	4. Enthrallment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning(s): Harmful Thoughts, Injury

Though it had only been an hour, Rainbow's wings were stinging, the wounds reopening. It had been a while since her last real flight, but she was soaring nonetheless, a hundred feet above the new floor and it's rough, unshaven terrain. The green beneath her was still fascinating, and it gave her strength knowing how close she was to touching it, to be living such random beauty.

Was it warm down there? Maybe. It's as if she had already been there in her mind, but her body couldn't move fast enough. What if on lazy days, she could just lie about, basking in the sun from dawn to dusk, feeling the rays and daydreaming of...stuff. Things she didn't have. Happiness?

No, she wasn't sad. What she needed was a home, and somepony to love her.

She skidded in midair, wings burning with the effort required to fly without momentum. While her coat had always been a pure sky blue, she could feel a sudden redness coaxing itself into her face with the mere thought of it.

_You have never found that before, what makes you think you can find it now? No one will ever think about you in that way._

_Ever._

She cursed herself for overruling the fantasy. Historically, the horrible voice in her brain always told the truth, but a small piece of her hoped it, for once, could be wrong about something.

A pang of hunger brought her back to the sky; she needed food. Her stomach lurched again, with anticipation: This would be her first encounter of the real world. She began to properly observe her current location, wings beating faster with newfound enthusiasm, a small smile making it's way onto her face. Currently surrounding her was a higher, more ragged-looking field of dark green, a different substance than the normal flat-ish green floor. It was higher, connected to the actual floor with thick wooden poles. Hovering closer, Rainbow spotted several specks of red, yellow, and lighter green among the shaded sea. A mere twenty feet from the layer, she gasped at the revelation.

They were apples.

Not being able to contain herself any longer, she dove through the layer of greeny-black...

...and immediately ran into a wooden plank.

Massaging her aching ribs, she gazed drearily around, completely forgetting the adrenaline. Flat on her stomach, her legs dangled off every side of the platform she landed on. The light had been extinguished as she passed the surface, and she could barely see where she was now sprawled over the wooden board.

She could tell it wasn't really a board: it had uneven patches, and the sanding job was terrible. Running a hoof along the surface, tough, dark brown skin and knots were scattered chaotically along it. The brittle layers scuffed away at the lightest touch.

As her eyes adjusted, Rainbow sighed in awe. More boards and poles could be seen, other than her own, sticking out from the bigger, supporting poles which connected to the vast green. The mass of black green was actually just bunches of small, darkly colored pieces of paper, sticking out from the planks. Everything in here had a connection to the wood, which continued down to the floor.

Though she wasn't certain, she believed these were called, 'trees'.

It was a new, private world, blocking out everything else. Tiny beams of light shone in through the ceiling. These makeshift mini spotlights were randomly placed, and when she stared long enough, she thought she could see them move. They drifted lazily, highlighting aspects of the darkened haven. Every so often, a ray would hit the skin of an apple, enhancing the contrast between dark atmosphere and fruit it stored in itself.

The air was still; it was the most sensitive she had ever felt. Each twitch of her ears, every breath she took. This had to be the best part of being alive.

The rumbling of her stomach should have been enough to break the wood pole she lay on. As if in answer to her subconscious prayers, one of the rays had begun to shine brighter, directing it's path into a Red Delicious.

Rainbow's mouth began to water, and she rose awkwardly from her position on the pole. The wood bar being surprisingly stable, she walked slowly towards the treat.

Her prize was hanging from one of the numerous high wooden poles, but it wasn't high enough for the need to fly. Balancing herself on her hind legs, she picked the apple off the plank with her mouth. Even though she bit gently, the crisp layer of skin the fruit bore melted away in her grasp, and the sweet, sugary juice seeped into her coat.

Eyes widening, she sat, almost falling as her muscles relaxed. It was the best thing she had ever tasted. Nothing could stop her as she took a real bite, the crunch echoing like an angel's breath in the quiet paradise.

Rainbow's ear twitched; the sound of hoofsteps interrupted the momentary bliss.

_Shit._

If somepony found her now, she didn't know what would happen to her. They might send her back to Cloudsdale or, worse yet, her parents. This wasn't the opportunity to make her first introduction; she needed more time.

Thanking the stars it was near darkness, she climbed the wooden structures as noiselessly as possible in her haste, holding the rest of the apple in her mouth.

She was fairly confident no one would find her this high up unless they were deliberately trying to. There were hundreds of other woody paper poles in this area, why would they search this one?

Though safety was top priority, she slightly regretted crawling up so far. Her curiosity was mixing with anticipation, greatly diminishing the fear factor. It would be better staying up here than risking exposure, but she wrestled with the decision in her mind. If she didn't sense any danger, then maybe she could collect her thoughts and act accordingly. But what was that other pony doing here?

Each hoof fall could be heard in the dead hush that had lain itself over the area. The pony, still not in eyesight due to the shade, trotted closer, the weight in their steps evident.

'They must be carrying something...' Her ears were half-folded, eyes shut tight, blocking out anything that wasn't the agonizingly slow steps drawing nearer and nearer with every passing second.

The hooves stopped. Rainbow's heart thumped, kindling her still-throbbing ribs. Before they'd stopped, their movement could be heard to the neighboring wood pole. The shared silence deafened her to the core.

The stranger muttered something under their breath. It carried to her ears, yet it remained indistinguishable with the distance between them. Then, they did something Rainbow never would have suspected.

They started to sing.

Loud, precise bangs accompanied pieces of her vocals, equally as rough and unplanned as the sudden outbreak of song. Still not being able to see, Rainbow had no clue what the mare below was experiencing while they sang; each crack was followed by several heavy thuds, starting and stopping in between the startling bangs.

She would throw her pitch to match the tone. This wasn't the first time she'd done this; her rhythm relied on specific movements. It made the previously enchanting world scarier. No more warmth seemed to emanate from the wood; it was power that extinguished everything. The brightest, and yet darkest thing in the room. Rainbow wanted to get close, to bathe in the glow of the haunting melody. She wanted to feel more, to let the sound waves wring through her, pluck her heartstrings until they snapped.

They stopped, and with it Rainbow's breathing ceased. Had the singer seen her? It wasn't an option: she slid hurriedly down the planks, supported by a wing around the base. She paused, vision blocked by the last layer of wood poles and paper. What if she just...moved to the last board?

_They could see you._

_You'll get caught._

_This might be your ticket back to Cloudsdale._

'I need to know.'

Beauty was blinding her, she could tell. The gluttony welling up inside was more than she could handle, it drove away her horrible, complicated thoughts, bringing instead easy, primal action. Pure emotion, overthrow the risks and reap the reward: She was a predator, calculating necessary movements in which to reap upon her prey. That, or she was the prey, foolish enough to think herself the biggest predator around.

Perched on the lowest board the vibration of the voice, so much closer to heart, blocked out all else.

Losing any remaining sense of self, she let the strength pull her under, drowning in the reality. Nothing else existed, except a relation between soul and song, filling her with torment.

It taunted the natural balancing act between peace and war, hate and love. The connection opposing, yet undeniable. A seemingly unattainable perfection between differences.

The voice was directly underneath her, the clarity overwhelming. She's right there: The Under Goddess of melodic power. As the She expels the last chorus, Rainbow lets her grip on the branch fail, subjecting each of her senses to the few remaining droplets of song.

In the final second, another bang echoed through the wood pole, but it was different. Rather than hearing the heavy thump followed by rhythmical thuds, her grip on the wood board was wrenched away, already loose from her hubris. She shut her eyes, ready for the crash.

A pool of hard, velvety fruit broke her fall instead, an alarming crack like a whip coming from one of her essential bones; it hurt like a mother, but at least she hadn't died.

Blearily opening her eyes, Rainbow's jaw dropped. The Under Place was dimly lit, but she didn't have to adjust long to see how wretched it might appear to an uneducated onlooker.

The wood poles were much higher than it seemed from above. Humbling, one might say- intimidating.

Her current seat was extremely comfortable, considering the likely-broken bones. The apples, similar to the one she had for lunch earlier, were not even bruised from her falling on them.

_How is that possible,_ _fat ass_ _._

Wincing, she pulled her gaze upwards, away from her own rotund figure. Holding the cart she lay in was a pony; an Earth pony.

Her coat was matted in places, dark and clumpy. Muscles bulged from the place the wings would be, smooth and slick from the sweat glistening off the tan-orange fur. Rainbow tried to see a cutie mark, but her flank was covered by the barrow. The dirty blonde mane and tail had been hastily tied up, and she bore a fraying brown hat, cut to avoid irritating the ears.

She stood tall, a look of tranquillity donned her face as her eyes remained closed, breathing hard. A small smile parted her lips.

It was Her, the Under Goddess.

What could she do?! Already half asleep and possibly needing medical attention, there was no way she could do anything cool in front of Her, or even flee. Unless...

_Don't you do it._

The voice knew what was best for her. But it was too late to save her from herself.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it sure flippin' did when I fell for you...just now."

The mare spun around to look at her, mortified.

The second she saw the Goddess, Rainbow didn't realize how her wings steadily rose at Her beauty. She didn't feel her breath hitch, or the way her pupils widened. She had no clue that she passed out and was now resting peacefully on the firm bed of apples.

All she could see was a nightmare; the cold, endless distance of jet black eyes.


	5. When Rules Bend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: 
> 
> Listen- I detest first-person perspective as much as the next guy: it's weird, hard to get used to, and if the writing is already bad, first-person is the last eight nails in a ten-nail coffin. But when I wrote this story however many years ago, it was my first one, and I had had little experience with both reading and writing fanfiction. Lame excuse, I know, but there you go.
> 
> I would change it to third person if I could. I honestly, completely would. But three-quarters of this story is already typed in first; from this chapter onwards. The longer chapters, too. 
> 
> If that's a deal breaker for you, I totally understand; go read someone-else's stuff, I wish you well. For those who think they can get through it: I promise, the story hasn't even begun- you haven't even seen AJ in action!
> 
> I hope you can delve past the formatting issue; this book is still dearly beloved by me, and I hope at least a few others. I'd love it if you could get something out of it, too. :)
> 
> Trigger Warning(s): Swearing, Injury

I let the satisfaction of my work flush my face, not bothering to wipe away the sweat on my forehead. It was nice, being able to sing where I knew no one else could hear, and I let out a sort, breathy chuckle, recollecting myself for a stray minute before going back to work.

A faint rustle came from the apple cart.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it sure flippin' did when I fell for you...just now."

I didn't just hear that. There is no way in Hell I just heard that.

Suppressing the urge to buck on sight, I cracked my neck with the force of looking back.

The ugly, animalistic snarl I bore evolved into a stunned shock- Laying smack in the middle of the barrow was a pony. A pegasus _._ In the shade of the trees, I could tell jack-shit else about any random details. The mare couldn't have been any older than me, but she was smaller by far. Judging by the angle of her foreleg, it was broken.

She had passed out the second I turned. Looking up into the branches, she must have fell at least...30 feet.

This was a little weird. No, not a little weird, absolutely ridiculous- who the fuck was she, even?!

I softened as the girl started snoring in the barrow. Her fluffy ears had fallen over some of her face. As she slept, I watched as her lips curled into a small smile; I'd never seen that before. She was so young, and pure...but despite the apparent comfort she had, it would be better for her to get some rest in an actual bed. Turning back around, I shifted the harness to prepare for the extra weight of the new 'passenger' and began my trot out of the orchard.

It didn't feel any heavier. And with a moment's trepidation, I remembered the girl's leg. _Shouldn't I take her to the hospital?_ I glanced around at the pegasus. The leg in question had swollen slightly, and it was still stuck at that horrible angle. _I...could mend that._

I mean, she's a pegasus and she certainly doesn't live around here, so she's probably from Cloudsdale. That's hours away, even if you _can_ fly, and there's no real pegasi-ish towns around here. She looks like a young adult, might not have a house. She must've ran away, at her age...

The barrier of trees was visible by the feeble light they let into the entrance of the orchard. I walked a bit quicker, eager to relieve the tension of my muscles, and, admittedly, find out who this mystery mare was.

Exiting the barrier, I resisted looking at the pegasus right away to maintain some form of dignity.

"You'll be fine," I reassured her, consciously keeping my eyes directed forwards. "It wasn't that harsh of a fall." Even if I knew she couldn't hear me, it was almost a comfort just to have someone there with me. It made the endless fields and orchards smaller. Parking the apple barrow at the opening of the orchard, I untangled myself from the reins, stretching and squinting in the early afternoon sunlight.

My gaze wandered and landed unwillingly on the mare.

Her coat was a pale, pale blue; practically white against the boldly-colored fruit. My eyes darted automatically to her mane; pastel, despite the literal rainbow of tones adorning it. Her body was remarkably thin, and it disturbed me to see the light of the sun transpire through her skin, the way the bones stood out against the flesh, stretching her skin like a rubber band on the verge of snapping.

In full view, her leg had definitely broken. It twisted at the knee joint, almost upside down.

This maniac broke her leg, and the first thing she decided to do was say the worst pickup line in all of Equestrian history.

Possibly the most moronic thing I've ever heard.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven." I mumbled, staring absentmindedly at the slumbering mare. Her rib cage expanded and contracted, individual bones nearly tearing through the skin with each breath. But even with a snapped leg she smiled; peaceful.

"Cause it sure flippin' did when I fell for you." I began circling the barrow, slowly taking in the mare from all sides.

Flippin'. Did this girl actually censor herself? Perhaps my own cussing was a bit unruly. Buck it, no one cares on the farm. The farm-

I stopped my pacing.

Oh yeah, the farm. I live here, I eat here, I work here. I'm not some nurse diagnosing a patient, I'm an apple farmer. It ain't my business what this random pony gets herself into unless it's on my farm.

In truth, a part of me wanted to drag her to the nearest barn, splash some water on her face, and demand what the Hell she was doing on the Apple Family's property.

With one hard glare at the barrow, I considered it...and promptly hung my head. It was impossible. I couldn't bring herself to be so disrespectful, especially to an injured, sleeping mare. And this one, of all ponies, had to have been the one that fell, with the...pride hair, and all.

_Yeah, that hair, though._ _  
_

Okay, I noticed her fucking hair. Is that a crime? I don't think so. That doesn't mean anything, she could be born with it! Genetics can be weird like that.

It must've been pretty difficult for her though: rumor has it Cloudsdale wasn't generally populated with ponies who swung that way. At least it was legal. Thank Celestia for Ponyville's love and tolerance, being such a small town and everything. If that had been a problem here, the pegasus girl wouldn't be the only one leaving her home town.

In the next ten minutes, I managed to find an old chariot-for-one in an old tool shed, one of tens littering the farm, and brought it back to where I'd left the girl sleeping on my latest produce. She had done nothing but slept soundly, an occasional snore escaping her nostrils. It was actually kind of soothing, I was almost relaxed. Unlatching the harnesses, I gently slid my hooves under her, lifting gently. She might have weighed less than Winona had all those years ago, and she was chillier than a winter breeze.

Laying her down inside her upgrade, much-easier-to-move chariot, I felt the absence of the body heat I didn't realize was there in the first place. Sighing and re-strapping the restraints for the umpteenth time today, I slowly made my way towards the barn, careful of the uneven terrain so she wouldn't wake up.

After a long trundle across the farm the entrance loomed. A feeling of dread got permanently stuck there at some point, as well as any other place in the house. I unbuckled the harnesses and moved to pick up the now lightly-drooling pegasus, laying her over my back like a bony, feathery blanket.

Opening the door and placing my hat on the nail in the wall, I began my ascent up the eerily-popping staircase to my room, ignoring the graying, old-fashioned walls and furniture decaying along with the rest of the farm.

Getting to the top, I entered my room.

I take a deep breath and walk over to my bed, stepping up the ladder for the first time in years and deposit the mare safely onto the mattress, covering her fragile body in the thickest blanket I owned.

It was a quilt, _her_ quilt, something I'd hoped to never touch again. Feeling the layers of happiness in each stitch almost felt like an insult to the memories I chose to put behind me years ago.

"It really ain't all that much." I whispered, voice uneven. "But...least you get the top bunk."

I stared down at the snoozing pegasus. The quilt covered most of her body, hiding the skeletal figure.

Up close, her mane was an explosion of color, but an echo. What would normally have been a tart, cherry red flowing into a streak of the orangest of orange cream-pops was now a pastel pink meshing strangely, yet perfectly, into an orange sunrise.

What had happened to cause such a drastic change? It didn't mean anything to me, of course. This was just a random mare.

But of course my weak pretense of ignorance didn't convince me for a second- there was nothing random about this mare. She had the exact same problem as me. Broken, messed up, faded.

It's told in maiden's tales that it is practically impossible to find one in your life. But here we were, two freaks of nature in the same room. The amount of terrible life experience in here could probably equal half of Ponyville's residents.

But what was her name? Or at least, what could I call her for the time being?

An idea popped into my head, and it stuck perfectly. Smiling properly for the first time in a while, I leaned down to whisper in her soft, fluffy ear. "You're safe now, Rainbow."

I couldn't wait to see her eyes.


	6. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning(s): Description of Pain, Slight Violence

A strange bird's cry rang out, startling Rainbow into an upright position. Lights popped in front of her eyes, and she fell back into the mattress, clutching her head with a hoof.

The memories: Leaving home, leaping from the edge, hearing Her song, getting ripped from the bottom wood plank, in a gorgeous sky of apples and darkness. They flashed in her mind, repeating with greater intensity and volume.

The swarming of recollections was hell; an unplanned orchestra of emotion and grief. Each one shocked her, making her blood run cold.

It was actually, physically straining her. Any nerve she possessed scrunched up, muscles tore themselves apart only to be messily sewn back together in the wrong order. The skin on her very flesh was burning, and she curled her hooves forcefully around a wooden bar she hadn't realized was there, not caring if it cracked. She panted in uneven beats, wings twitching and jerking violently. Her vision blurred, froze, then cut; leaving only white. Panic shot through her, coupled with the egregious pain. All sound was extinguished, but she felt her jaw stretching wide in a silent, terrible scream that wouldn't escape her throat. Snapping her eyes shut, tears seeped through them despite her feeble efforts in the light of such unendurable torture: everything she had ever done was wrong. Nothing could be fixed and there were no more happy endings; it was over.

Then it stopped. Quickly disarming herself of the bar, she waited with held breath: the pain had dissipated for now, and something was...different. She felt smaller in her body, and more vulnerable, like a part of her had been removed and this feeling was left behind.

'What the heck was that all about?'

Sitting up cautiously, Rainbow tried making sense of her surroundings. This was by far the smallest room she'd ever been in and, she was grateful to see, not a hospital room.

It felt more like a tall closet than an actual room: The walls were constructed with the old, boring wooden planks, so unlike the natural ones she had just begun to get used to. Dark brown and peeling off the walls, they hung in disorder. Several missing planks in the ceiling revealed a blackish-blue sky; so about 5:30 am. If she sneezed too hard the whole strange place might collapse. Despite the suffocatingly-close walls and morning chill flowing in from the holes in every surface, she felt warm and cozy, greatly-tempted to fall back asleep from how drained she felt. Looking down, she saw her body wrapped snugly with a homemade quilt; faded pink and red squares littering a soft white cloth. It was undoubtedly the comfiest she had ever been.

Somepony was climbing stairs outside. She froze, her mind throwing itself into a tailspin. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't move, the paralysis silencing her as effectively as duct tape.

Soon, a tan-orange mare stomped in, slamming the door. Her blonde mane and tail were gruff and thrashed, pulled together sloppily with a faded red elastic band. She paced the small , uttering horrible swear words as she went, seemingly unconcerned to Rainbow's presence. Did she know she was there? Circling three times around the room, the mare kept her head down, ears twitching.

The pegasus watched as she stopped, breathing heavily. Without warning she punched the wall, leaving a large, splintered hole. Instead of relaxing, this only made her roar in frustration and pace faster, baring her teeth and shaking her head like an .

This pony had now proven herself to be violent, but that wasn't what concerned Rainbow: She'd never met this girl in her life, but it was as if she knew her beyond that- a thread of another lost memory was gripping to her brain, refusing to be torn away. Underlying, magnified guilt infested her nerves.

Then the mare looked up, her face etched with hatred. Pale freckles lined her tan face, and the bags under her eyes gave an impression of age she didn't really own. Agony and deep, filthy rage emanated from her body in waves like a hornet, with lifetimes of powerful suffering. It made Rainbow wonder if she was even alive.

But the darkness of her eyes swept any thought of lifelessness away.

They looked dead if you weren't looking directly at them, but converselt held the the strongest thundercloud, or the shining gleam off a pool of oil, reflecting off the surface of the abyss with the smallest of lights.

The mare stared endlessly back, reaching far past Rainbow's own perspective, towards something she herself would never see; something beautiful. Her sight could hold the moon with how far it reached, beating the darkest night sky and every star it contained. In the few seconds that lasted hours in Rainbow's mind, the mare's jaw dropped, every drop of anger transcending into a wondrous fascination.

Rainbow heard a faint whisper, but didn't realize her voice was the one speaking. "How do I know you. I don't know you. Right? I feel like I shouldn't...and I don't. But I want to, I really do. Do you-no, you couldn't. But I think you should. Do you know me?" She rambled desperately, eyes still locked firmly on the black seal of the girl's fascinating eyes.

Neither of them had really registered anything she'd said.

The orange one raised an eyebrow. "Beg pardon?"

That _voice_. It was allure incarnate, humming elegantly with just two simple words like a bass guitar.

"Who are you?" Her voice broke, and she cleared her throat, embarrassed. That was lame, they could both tell.

"Are you really the one to be asking that?"

Her voice was flat, airtight. Rainbow could have sworn it had been warm, even caring.

The very idea of never hearing that low, gravelly tone again was enough to put her on edge. "I uh, um-I don't know you. That's why I asked. So yes, I think I should be the one asking."

Something in the dark irises flickered, and her mouth parted briefly. She must have insulted the mare without knowing it, offended her in every sense imaginable.

The tan girl faltered, mumbling to herself. "She doesn't remember what she said..." She really said it more to herself, but she quickly looked back at Rainbow, continuing with a much softer tone. "Where was the last place you remember being?"

"In the trees."

"...That's not a place, sugarcube."

"Oh. Sorry, I just-" Rainbow sighed, not wanting to sound stupid in front of the pretty girl, "I've never been many places. But I really liked it there!"

She reminisced fondly: the colors, the textures, the growth and silence- it had been a whole new world down there. Here? Somewhere.

Speaking of that, where exactly was she? Questions about her previous and current location raided her mind, giving her a small desire to start getting some answers back; however she suppressed these instincts in favor of listening to the orange mare talk more.

"If you're sure then. What was the last thing you remember doing in the trees, before you woke up here?"

Her voice was restricted, she was trying not to say something. It was like a test, and Rainbow could feel the incredible eyes studying her, judging her answer off of every expression she made.

She dug deep within her subconscious, willing the feelings back from past. An incandescent moment flashed across her mind, and she smiled helplessly wide, her eyelids fluttering to a close and a breath escaping her lips. "I fell from the tree I was in because I thought I was following someone's song."

The orange girl scrunched her nose, a wary look on her face. "What do you mean, 'someone's song'? Were you spying on them?"

"Oh, no," Rainbow shook her head definitively, ears floppy and dazed smile unbroken, "It was a goddess, I'm sure of it. Or at least an angel."

The mare didn't speak, for whatever reason.

"She was the most beautiful thing I ever heard," Rainbow went on, tail flicking in wonderment. "It must've been too dark, or too high up, because I didn't get to see her. But, my goodness, what if I _had?_ She has to be some kind of spirit, or a guardian angel, or-"

She stopped when she saw the orange girl who had turned very, very red, color flushing all the way up to her ears. "Hey, are you okay?"

"M' alright," the pony said, legs crossed and eyes on the floor. "Just-" She trained her eyes on Rainbow, an uncertain crease in her forehead lines as she contemplated the odd, sweet pony in front of her. "Nah. It's nothin'."

The orange mare turned, pausing only as she was halfway out the door. She looked back, a bit of a comical, breathless apology as she spoke. "Shit, sorry girl, I'm not used to havin' company- I'm forgetting all my Southern hospitality. Would you like to come down for breakfast?"

She was still a bit confused, but Rainbow nodded energetically. Fast as she could she tore off her bandages and rushed as gracefully as possible down the ladder, standing at full attention in front of the charming earth pony, excited for this new situation she'd fallen into.


	7. Trust and Truth

She ripped the bandage off without even glancing at the injury, sliding down the ladder of the bunk bed and standing behind me, bouncing up and down, obviously overjoyed at the unexpected invitation. I stood, astounded at the pale pony. Her leg, miraculously healed, was bending and straightening as she bobbed, eagerly waiting for me to take the lead.

That leg had been broken, I knew for a fact. My silent contemplation must have looked weird, me staring at her leg with a glare on my face. It wasn't something I addressed anymore, how I looked when doing things. She faltered, ears drooping.

"Sorry," Her voice was clear, no hesitation or sadness to the declaration, like she believed every word she spoke with a passion. "I'm being weird, huh."

"Yeah, ya are. Give me your hoof a' second."

Her eyes widened into a look of shock and confusion, and the hardened stare I had adopted for the unfamiliar situation cracked an infinitesimal amount. Hesitantly, she raised a hoof in front of her, holding it out to me, both extremely awkward and anxious. Other than the fact that she'd used the wrong leg, it was a precious sight. 

Shaking myself mentally, I rebuilt my defenses. Did she actually think I was just gonna hold her hoof? Please. As if I'd want to.

"Other hoof. The one that had the bandages." Realization dawned her face as did a light red hue. She swapped her hooves in an embarrassed silence, looking intently at the floor, as if pleading for it to cave in.

Whether on purpose or not, she had moved back in terror, and I couldn't reach her from where I stood in the doorway. Huffing my discontent, I stepped towards her outstretched hoof and grabbed it forcefully in my own, making her eyes snap into mine, ridden with panic. Smirking, I yanked her towards me. Yelping with surprise rather than pain, she stumbled forwards. We were now inches apart, and our height difference was explicit; the top of her head resided just below my eyebrow. The tension built as we stared yet again into each other's eyes, like earlier, although this time my motives were practical. 

I traced the leg, pinpointing the spots which had been incapacitated. I had done this before, been up close, her coat accidentally brushing against mine as I bandaged the damages, but this time was much more distracting: as I analyzed, I could see her chest rise and fall, felt the gentle expulsion of breath against my neck.

Swiping impulses away, I refocused my efforts, applying occasional pressure on the spots that had been sensitive, listening for a reaction. Nothing was wrong, other than the fact she was skin and bones, the veins visibly twisted up her leg, to a body in which every bone was visible under a thin layer of pale white skin.

But the leg was healed, as if never broken.

Sighing, I dropped the hoof, blankly turning away from her confused gaze. It didn't make any sense...but then again, neither had she.

I walked to my door frame, pausing to look at Rainbow, signalling for her to follow. She automatically perked up, then stopped herself; half suspicious, half curious. "Who says I can trust you?"

I shrugged. "No one. Difference is, you're the only other one here."

A glint shone in her eyes, and she trotted firmly, taking her place by my side, barely restrained nerves and excitement in her stance. It was contagious, really, and I felt a bit calmer knowing we trusted each other for the time being.

We were going to have some trouble navigating down the steps, I could already tell. With the added weight of another mare, these steps would cave faster than day-old apple crumble. As I was aware of each particular step to take in order for them to not cave in, it made the most sense for me to go first.

"Stand here: watch every step I take. Don't look away, don't blink, just watch and remember the exact way I do it. One wrong move and..." 

I pressed my forehoof subtly on the second-to-top stair, not at all surprised to hear the snap of the wood, but pleased with the effect it had on Rainbow, who jumped and looked at the wood with apprehension. Perhaps I went a little overboard on the theatrics; I pretty much beg these steps to collapse every morning with little success, and she was much smaller than me. But it was fun to keep things on edge, just for her sake. 

"Any questions?"

Her terror was poorly-concealed, but she embraced the task, giving me her undivided attention. Cracking my neck, I began my descent, careful to give time for her to see each placement of my hooves against the rotting wooden stairs until I finally reached the bottom, bowing unnecessarily, much to the applause of my only audience member. We were both grinning and acting like idiots in our mock celebration, just glad for a reason to legitimately smile for a second. After we were finished, I addressed Rainbow with half my mind still on the joke.

"Alright Pastel, your turn."

I had shocked myself back to reality; I don't know where it came from, but it certainly fit, in my opinion. She stared, puzzled, before shaking her head and readying herself to come down the flight. _Why had she reacted weirdly to that nickname and not the other?_

Before I could even comprehend what was happening, she had jumped off the last step, landing gracefully in front of me, a small smile on her lips. I stared slack-jawed at her, wonderment plastered onto my face. Seemingly entertained, she answered the unstated question. 

"I have a good memory."

The full irony of that statement hit me harder than the shock of the stair descent had, and I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to realize it too. She didn't, and I decided not to press her on it.

"If you say so," I said skeptically, "but when was the last time you remember eating?"

A tick in her expression told me I wasn't to trust whatever lie she decided to spew.

"I-I can't really recall, I mean-wait, how long had I been out?"

Her lie was punctuated with a question she truthfully wanted the answer to, so I dropped my suspicion. "Day and a half, now." I recalled, pretending to look at a watch I didn't own. "I hadn't fed you; I thought you'd have waken up soon enough."

Supposedly on queue, her stomach growls, and she throws me a furtive look before quietly asking where the cafeteria was. _Cafeteria...?_

"Darlin, you're not from these parts, are ya?" My accent was weirdly present as I noted her vocabulary and I saw her eyes widen and her wings fluff up a bit.

"Um, I don't know for sure, but I have a feeling things are a bit different here than where I came from. Back home I-well, back where I lived, we-"

I cut her off, not wanting her to stutter more on my behalf; it seemed to be a habit of hers.

"Don't tell me now," I said gently, "I'll be okay waiting, if you really want to tell me someday. But it sounds personal enough to keep to yourself. We don't really know each other, so..." I trailed off, losing my point. She looked at me as if she was going to argue.

"We could, though." Her voice was light and hopeful, like she was trying to convince me. "Doesn't it already sort of feel like it?"

I'd be lying if I said it didn't, but I diverted the topic; it was too early for another mystery-contemplation session. "Maybe. But we can bond more over eggs and toast first."

My dismissive banter was met only with a tilted head, her ears flopping playfully. Her sweetness was almost too much to handle, and I wrestled internally to not melt.

"...Come on, the kitchen's in here, just sit at the table and I'll make us something."

I had already set up the toaster and expertly broken some eggs into a pan before Rainbow had managed to sit down. Shifting a glance at her, I saw her silently observing the room, and was now uncomfortably aware of the disrepair and obvious neglect this place had been through: the walls had dents and holes in the drywall, some of the old-fashioned wallpaper was yellowing and peeling away- possibly due to the horrible water damage. Flecks of black and green mold could be seen in corners, and an underlying scent of mildew hung in the air. It was only partially better in the kitchen; I would occasionally give it a scrub, just to keep from getting sick.

If the ruins of my house bothered her, she had been polite enough not to mention it, but I still felt embarrassed.

"...How do you like your eggs?" I said over my shoulder, attempting to distract her.

She stared at me for a moment before replying, "I...like them okay," and looking around the room feverishly. 

I opened my mouth, closed it, and continued as if I hadn't asked. This girl was a mixed bag, her ignorance of obvious situations and the general social convention plaguing my brain while I whisked on and on, losing myself in wonder.

In minutes the eggs had been scrambled sufficiently, the toast jammed and buttered lavishly. Grabbing some of the better glasses and plates, I set the table with precision, putting on much more of a show than the norm, pouring some orange juice for the pair of us and proportioning the food, which both smelled and looked tastier than I'd ever made before. Satisfied with my efforts, I took my seat next to Rainbow, watching her expression from the corner of my vision.

"Well, don't let me stop you." I egged her on, indicating the plate in front of her, grabbing a piece of toast and chowing down to prove it wasn't drugged. Nervously, she grabbed her plate and held it to her mouth, taking a small bite of the scramble. Her reaction was instant; nervousness ebbing away, she set the plate down and walked out of the room.

"Shit, I didn't think they were THAT ba-" 

My grumble was interrupted by Rainbow running into the room, laughing and prancing around, the happiest I'd ever seen her. She reared back, standing tall and gleeful, before running back around the table to greet me and my bewilderment.

"Oh my freaking Celestia, that was the best thing I've ever tasted! How do you even do that!? Can you teach me? If your cooking is this good, I'm sleeping on your roof from now on!"

The rush in which she said all of this nearly made me fall out of my chair, and she laughed even harder. Her idolization and flattery were overwhelming, and I shifted, more pleased than I cared to admit. Realizing how much I was probably blushing right now, I brought a hoof to my face, hiding the majority of the redness from her.

"I guess I could teach you", I struggled to keep my voice steady,"but we'll see about the whole roof deal." 

But she was barely listening, already absorbed in consuming her food as fast as possible.


	8. The New Girl

The few dishes we had used for breakfast barely needed washing with Rainbow's insistence of licking the plates clean, but a part of me was still cringing at the obvious lack of care I'd taken into the household chores over all this time. These plates were just the tip of the iceberg on the pile mounting steadily in the sink, but I could do the others later; my penance wasn't on a time limit.

The boredom was overtaking, and I remembered why I hadn't done that in such a long time.

What little amount of space in my brain that wasn't on work was usually occupied with some song, nulling out the monotony of farm life. Something dark with a strong backbeat. But, for the first time, the bug was gone. It left a hole, and the meaningless void pulled me back into reality. In those empty, flattened minutes, I noticed things I had neglected for years: the way the wind blew cold through the cracks in the walls, how I was shivering without even realizing it.

Finishing up the last pieces of cutlery, my eyes drifted sideways to the mare at the table. She sat, mellowed, maybe in the quiet of dawn or the sparseness of the surroundings. Her gaze traveled slower than molasses around the dank room, soaking in every detail with those white, pearly eyes.   
  


After setting the last plate aside, I approached Rainbow. Resting a hoof on the table as to return her to actuality, her seemingly purblind vision resurfaced. She flashed me a lopsided grin and hopped out of her chair, eager to engage in conversation, by hook-or-crook completely ignoring my disinterested demeanor. I almost chuckled, biting the inside of my cheek to restrain it.

"Alright Sugar, now that we've eaten n' all that, we need to have a discussion. You need t' determine how long you're planning on staying."

I already knew her answer: She was a pegasus. No doubt she'd be head-over-hooves at the mere mention of flying back up to Cloudsdale.

"...I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" She stammered, "I mean I shouldn't have overstayed my welcome. You're wondering when I'm going to leave. I've already invaded on your hospitality. Thank you so much for allowing me to stay so long, and thank you for the food-"

She shot a hoof to her mouth in abject horror."I acted so stupid over the food...a-a-and the dishes! I didn't even help clean the-oh god, oh god, I'm sorry. I'll get out as soon as possi-"

"Rainbow, what the actual hell are you talking about?" I said, genuinely confused. She was pleading like she burned the house down and I was gonna smack her. "Why are you actin' all sorry-like? You didn't do anything."

"I'm letting you waste time on me." She stated.

That didn't make a lick of sense, we'd spent less than an hour in each other's company, and I told her as much.

"Well yeah, but...", Rainbow hesitated, "...how much more time are you going to spend on me?"

"Whatever. You're your own pony, and you're welcome to leave if you want, but I don't mind letting you stay for however long. Mind you, I ain't exactly interested in sharin' my bunk with a complete stranger. What's your name, Miss Rainbow?"

She cocked her head to the side, ears flopping. Must've been a habit. A cute one, too.

"You just said it? I just assumed I'd told you and forgot about it. I'm kind of having trouble with remembering some stuff lately."

How was I supposed to feel about that- Amused? Guilty? A little bad her parents couldn't think of anything cleverer than that? I recovered quickly, wanting to save face in front of this sweet thing.

"Yeah, you did. I meant your full name." I said simply, adding an eye roll to aid the lie.

"Oh! Oh, okay. I'm Rainbow Dash. You probably said your name earlier too, but I can't rememb-well, you know."

Well, shit. When Dash was being nice, it made me feel bad about the lies that would roll easily off my tongue.

 _Dash..._ it was a cool name and all for a pegasus, but it didn't suit her.

"I'm AJ. It's a pleasure."

I reached up to tip my hat like any real gentlepony would, only to realize it wasn't there. Looking around I found it hanging on the nail beside the door, and walked over to retrieve it. Before walking back to Rainbow however, I stop short as my focus landed on the door.

The reason I forgot about work was a mystery to me, but I must have been at least an hour behind schedule at this point. But I didn't really want to say goodbye to Dash...

"Hey Rainbow, do you mind if we walk n' talk? I got some work around the farm I have to do."

Her face reflected puzzlement for a millisecond before peeking back up, following my lead and smiling broadly, taking a stand next to me.

"Alright, sounds awesome!"

Though neither of us admitted it, I think we both were glad of some company, no matter what else we were doing in the meantime.

"You don't even know what I do for a livin'."

"But we get to talk more, and I already know that's cool."

I smiled at Rainbow, opening the door and stepping out into the warming eight o' clock morn, stretching, then continuing on, towards the South-most section, for today's harvest.

"Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for stickin' with me for a little while. Neither of us think it's really a long-term thing, probably, but it's nice to have another pony to talk to, ya know?"

I expected a reaction of some sort: Laughter, a polite refusal to stay long, a stuttery, blushy apology, but heard nothing except my own hoof steps in the dying summer grass.

In fact, I'd never heard hers to begin with. I turned to look back for my companion.

"Rainbow...?" I questioned.

She couldn't hear me: We were thirty feet apart, her figure centered in the door frame, staring at the world around her.


	9. Unintentional

"Alright, sounds awesome!"

I didn't really pay attention to the words coming out of my mouth, too busy trying to keep up with AJ's effortless social skills. Though she wasn't the friendliest, and her ink-black eyes were downright scary, she seemed to know exactly what to say to make any situation less tense. She apparently had to go somewhere and do something, but still wanted to continue our conversation. I was more than willing to comply.

The corners of her mouth upturned in a cool, noncommittal way. "You don't even know what I do for a livin'."

"But we get to talk more, and I already know that's fun."

AJ pushed open the wooden door and trotted ahead, possibly chatting to me, not knowing I wasn't there.

I had stopped in the doorway, frozen in shock. It was the real thing.

The Below. The floor was green, composed of slips upon slips of long, thin blades. There must have been billions of them, stretching far out over hills and rising from the dirt, dozens of yellowing paths leading to places my sight couldn't reach. In the morning breeze, everything swayed and danced, the scent of true nature overpowering my nostrils. The sky was pinkish-blue with the rise of the sun, casting cotton-candy light on every area.

But the best part were the bigger stalks that grew high and low above the green- Their colors made the common blades even more special. I had to remember to ask AJ what they were later, but for now I just needed to soak it in. No place I'd ever been was so stunningly beautiful, and I felt like sitting and taking in the view for hours.  
  


Subconsciously, I noticed AJ coming back from the path she'd been walking down. Her body language was panicked, but she kept her voice calm as she spoke. "Rainbow? What's the problem?"

I couldn't respond or even look at her, too enthralled in the new environment. All worries of tactlessness were blissfully swept away.

She waved a hoof in front of my face. "Are ya havin' some sorta episode or side effect of the concussion? Do I need to call for somepony?"

Her thick accent, filled with worry, hardly registered. I might have shook my head a bit, but this apparently did nothing to assuage her. I guess I probably did look pretty glazed, staring awestruck at supposedly nothing, but I didn't care. It didn't feel like nothing to me. "I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry about it." I mumbled, spotting a small, buzzing creature with black and yellow stripes on AJ's ear.

It flew away quickly when AJ's ears twitched in irritation. She had advanced on me, leaning in and glaring at my face. "You most definitely are not fine. Snap out of it."

I ignored her, focused on some creature in the sky holding a stick in it's mouth, flying without a care in the world.

"What the fuck are you even looking at?!"

My attention snapped to her, disapproving. There was no reason for the lashing out, especially since I hadn't done anything.

But then the world went dark, and the only thing I saw was the dark orange mare, her midnight eyes bared into mine; burning, as if they meant me every harm in the world. The infinite void began to draw me back, tearing my vision from anything else but the blackness. I couldn't think. It was nothing, but also everything. A flame roaring in an abyss with no oxygen. I was worthless, I was _helpless_. Nothing would change if I was gone, and I'd be stuck in a cold, empty cage with just me and those terrible, terrible eyes.

I backed into the house I'd never left, shutting my eyes and clamping my hooves over my ears. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, screaming for an escape from the living nightmare.

Time halted, and I could breathe. The grim house and the world around it returned as my vision cleared.

Everything was normal, but it absolutely was not okay.

Glaring upwards from where I'd fallen to the floor, I found her; she was pleading, profusely apologizing with her eyes back to normal and the anger gone. She was on the verge of tears, stooped down to my level with a hoof on my shoulder. "Oh god, I'm so sorry Rainbow, I didn't-"

"Why did you do that!?"

She scratched behind her neck, a dull flush emitting from her tanned face. Looking away from the indignation in my gaze, AJ croaked out, "I swear I didn't mean to, I just..." she hesitated, looking down in shame, "...lose control. I'm sorry, I got upset and-"

I stood up, wings rising in outrage. "Is that so? I was minding my own business. Then you have the decency to cuss me out and do whatever that horrible thing was with your eyes."

"I wasn't doing it on purpose, I swear, Dash..."

Stomping the cracked floor with a hoof, I almost screamed, "Then how come you didn't warn me earlier? I almost had another attack, all because of you!"

AJ looked up, visibly paling at my words.

The weight of what I'd said hit me. My anger, so heated and overpowering before, dissipated into fear.

I took a couple steps back from where I'd been yelling at AJ. She looked like she wanted to step forward, but she didn't, only staring back in a hurt, stunned silence. "You...you've had an attack?"

I winced and nodded, a couple tears I hadn't realized were there falling onto my coat.

AJ's eyebrows curved inwards, breath taken away as she continued to gape. "I should've been more careful with you, I," she swallowed, blinking rapidly at the floor, "I need to keep my issues to myself. You will never have another attack if I have anything to do with it, I promise."

Sincerely, I tested the waters by standing and looking deep into the mare's eyes. I could see damage and pain there, but no harm or deception there. "Is there anything else you need to tell me," I said calmly, not breaking eye contact, "before I decide to trust you? Because if I'm staying, you will _not_ hurt me without me knowing the risks."

Without a smile, she looked back. "I'm cold, and I have anger issues. I'm too invested in my work. I don't work well with other ponies. I'm off-putting to strangers and distant with friends. I've been alone for too many years, and I'm already too attached to you. If you stay, I guarantee nothing, except that I will never harm you. I think you deserve every goodness this world has to offer, and you will probably find more of it if you leave."

"Alright, well..." I faltered, not expecting such an honest, brutal answer, "What'll happen if I stay?"

AJ blushed, craning her neck back the slightest bit, "I, uhm," she stammered, "I've got a bunk bed. And some good apples and land. A decent view of the sky, maybe."

"I can live with that."

I grinned cautiously, hoping things could go back to normal.

AJ grinned back, an apology swimming in her eyes which I knew was honest. "You're sure about this?"

"Absolutely."


	10. An Unexpected Opportunity

I fully expected Rainbow to follow this time.

The awkward air between us was lighter than ever, and we were both finally on the same page. That being said, neither of us fully knew what was going on. Other than being relatively comfortable in each other's presence, we barely knew each other- where she came from, what she did, who she really was, I didn't know; vice-versa for Rainbow.

A small part of me wanted that to change. Hell, a huge part. It honestly took me every scrap of patience and self-control to not blurt every nagging question, to give up whatever tough image of who I seemed to be in her eyes. Because I just wanted to know more.

Even so I refused myself the privilege. I'd naturally learn about her over time. There wasn't any rush, and the risk of giving in and losing a possible friend after not having one in years was motivation enough to keep my trap shut. 

Trotting out of the barn-house, I soaked in the pleasant atmosphere: The sun had risen, morning breeze abandoned to be replaced by the light warmth of Celestia's star. It was the beginning of summer, when the apples ripened, the most profitable season for sales loomed, and the weather got controlled in the most desirable fashion for work. As such it made for a consequently perfect day. Maybe ideal for cloud gazing, or lounging in the grass.

Or any other hippie bullshit that anyone who lived in the real world could only dream of doing. Things _I_ could only dream of doing. That's the ticket, ain't it, the fact that most dreams are just that; dreams. They will never be anything more then a lost wish in an ocean of impossibility, in a world where reality is the only medium and dreams are few and far between. Nothing is a dream, and are held by those tiny, worthless individuals who are too deluded to come to terms with it.

The world which was so colorful moments ago began draining back to the gray I remembered.

Walking outside-why was I outside? Work. Whyever else.

I was somehow at least an hour late for the day's tasks, and I sank back into the mindset optimal for productivity, quickening my walk to a gallop to make up for lost time. What even made me this tardy in the first place...it didn't matter, as long as I got back on task. Nothing mattered except the well-being of the farm. There would be time to think, time to breathe, time to heal; later.

My gallop steadily climbed until I could no longer quicken my pace.

Tuesday. Clear-out date of the North section. An assortment of Golden Delicious and Granny Smith. Collection. Separation. Oiling of the apple barrows. One, two, three, four. Stored in a row. Quality check of the barns and livestock. Storing. Shipment.

Completion of the Tuesday checklist. Then I'll grab a smaller barrow fit for the North area, to-

"AJ!" A voice screamed, "What are you doing?!"

Turning my head in wild confusion, I saw somepony rushing behind me, barely keeping up even though their wings beat wickedly against their sides.

_Rainbow-!_

Just as I tripped over my own sprinting legs, crashing full-speed into the dirt and skidding off the path into a particularly untamed section of the meadow.

A sea of green surrounded me, and all was quiet and still.

The realization of what had just happened hit me like an anvil; I had _forgotten_ Rainbow. Well, less forgot, more set myself in the normal mindset of productivity, in which I had nopony else in my life I gave a crap about.

It was insane how everything else had just...melted away. Did I always do that? I must've not realized, for so many years now. And I could always do it again, slip back into that terrible, emotionless persona. That could be the rest of my life and I'd never even know it. How Rainbow would react if one day I stopped speaking to her and ran away? Would she bring me back, like she did just now?

Another emotional anvil; Rainbow saved me. Instead of leaving or giving up on me, she decided to run too.

I suddenly heard frantic steps, getting closer and closer with each passing breath. It was her, searching through the grass.

An idea struck, quite definitely the worst I'd ever dared to dream up. It was horrible; I knew I was gettin' an all-expense-paid trip to Pony Hell already, but this was just the cherry on top if I failed this plan. It was an unstable, terrible, ill-conceived plan. But I needed to pay for what I'd done, and would possibly do again.

I hadn't moved from where I'd skidded into the grass, making this part much easier. Closing my eyes and taking calming breaths, I laid sprawled out on the ground, feigning unconsciousness. Moments later, I heard Rainbow running closer, having spotted me in the middle of the field. In seconds, she was leaning over me, examining and shaking me slightly; in fact she was basically on top of me, but I couldn't think about that right now.

"AJ! AJ, please wake up, what did you do to yourself this time..."

Blinking blearily in the sun above us, I put on a level of acting so thick she would either buy it at once or fly away and never return. "Oh, um, hello. And who might you be?"

Her worried expression twisted into one of absolute horror. "You- you really don't remember me?"

After hearing her trembling words and seeing her ears flop over in that lovely, adorable way, I almost caved. My conscience told me to stop, that I'd regret this. But I ignored it and made a suspicious face. "I'm sorry, I reckon I don't. Are you alright? You look a little worried."

Her breath, so close to my face, was ragged. "A-am _I_ okay? You're the one who just ran off like a maniac and fell, I'm surprised you only got a little dirt on you! Why won't you remember me?"

 _'This is the worst feeling I've had in years. I don't want to do this...'_

I gave an innocent shrug, uncaring in nature. "Dunno, Miss. What's your name?"

"I-I'm Rainbow Dash." She sighed, the nervousness and panic deflating out of her like a balloon. _'Good',_ I thought, _'that'll make this whole thing easier on her.'_

Smiling like it was the first time I heard it, I couldn't stop myself from saying, "That's a right pretty name, I hope you know."

A faint pink blush appeared against the light blue. She chuckled, her voice cracked, sad and hopeless as anything. "Oh, t-thank you so much. Your name, it's AJ, by the way."

I raised an eyebrow, inwardly cussing myself out. "AJ? That ain't a real name, what's the full thing?" I never even told her my real name.

Her eyes glazed over, and she fell silent for a minute, in which I was completely aware of how she was still extremely close in proximity, hovering lightly over me. She could have moved off me the moment she knew I was okay, why hadn't she?

She came back with tears in her beautiful eyes. "I guess she never told me."

"I wish I could tell you." _'Celestia, I want to. But she needs to leave.'_

"You might not know me, but...do you remember anything else? None of her memories?"

I faltered. This could be my last chance to keep her, and give us both a chance at a real life at Sweet Apple Acres.

Sniffing disinterestedly, I looked up at her with the smallest pity smile I could muster. "No. Sorry."

Tears came two at a time, streaming down her face and falling onto mine. I'd've cried too, if I could.

"Well," I started to push her off of me, until we were both sitting on our haunches. "I suppose I've got some things to be figuring out, now I'm a blank slate. I suggest you leave- I'm guessing this place is mine?"

She looked horrified, staring at me with ghostly eyes, but she nodded.

"Okay then, Miss..." I stood up and turned to leave, hoping and praying she'd do the same, "Goodbye. Sorry for the trouble."

Not two steps later, I heard the clamoring of hooves and felt a brush of feathers on my side, and she was standing in front of me, wings spread, blocking my path.

"Uh..." I tried, "What're you doing? I thought you were leaving."

"No, you said I was leaving," She corrected, "And I'm staying with you."

I wiped my face of any happiness that might have shown up at those words, rolling my eyes and scoffing. "I don't want you here, and your friend 'AJ' is gone. Leave, girl, there's better places to be. This place is obviously dangerous."

"That's not what the old AJ promised me!" Rainbow assured, "She told me she would never harm me."

"Well I'm not the old AJ," I leered, stepping closer to the brave pegasus and pleading she would listen, even if my threats were empty.

She trotted closer, confident and bold as I'd ever seen her. "I can take you, I've handled worse. AJ will come back, I just know it, and there's nothing you can do to convince me otherwise. I, am, staying."

Groaning on the outside but pretty damn flattered on the inside, I sat back down where I'd fallen earlier to think. _'Okay, so she's not leaving. What the hell am I supposed to do now?'_ I was willing to make anything up at this point; I did not want to have to pretend to be not-me forever.

An idea popped into my head, hopefully a better one than my last, because apparently I'm a fucking idiot.

A surge of pure drive I had never seen before was burned onto her face, and she glared as if to challenge me to find something she wouldn't do. "Tell me what to do and I'll flippin' do it."

I grinned back up at her.

"Shock me. Do something to scare or surprise me."

There was a pause.

"Whatever you think'll work: slap me, punch me, break coke bottle glasses over my head, I don't give a damn. Anything. And just for your information..." I drawled, holding for dramatic effect, but Rainbow didn't exactly look like she meant funny business right now, so I continued, "...she won't remember anything that happened. The bigger the surprise, or worse the pain, the better it works."

Rainbow hesitated, but still with the fiery passion in that glare, walked until she was within a couple inches apart from me. "Are you one-hundred-percent sure she won't remember?"

_'This is wonderful, now I know she's going to punch me, with how close she's getting.'_

Smirking, I finally relaxed; she would really get her chance at payback. "Of course I'm sure Rain-mmf!"

Rainbow forcefully pressed her lips to mine, and I actually forgot how to breathe. She tackled me to the ground, and we were now in a full, mostly-one-sided make-out session. Her wings had flared up behind her, and she had her eyes closed like she was savoring every little moment she could. She was incredible, how her body intertwined smoothly with mine, the gentility and ease she put into her movements despite the pressure she felt in the moment, all to save me, and with a little bit of greed on her part. 

But I couldn't kiss back without giving myself away.

So, like a coward, I noticeably stiffened, then pretended to faint.

Waiting a decent five minutes to make sure she had herself together, I sat up, clutching a hoof to my head and grumbling.

"AJ...?" Her tone was cautious, testing the waters.

I smiled so wide I thought I would tear a muscle, seeing Rainbow and not having to act like an asshole such an incredible relief. "Rainbow, I'm so sorry I ran away from you."

Seeming to take great solace in the fact I could at least recall her name, she let out a breath. "Thanks, I um-" She choked on her words, apparently relieved as I was. "Please don't do that again. You have no clue how much you freaked me out when you went and forgot me."

My glee faded, and I figured there wasn't any point beating around the bush. "Listen, there's no guarantee I'm not gonna pull a stunt like that again. I told you I've been alone for a while, but I," I huffed, overwhelmed and annoyed at myself, "I had no clue it was that bad. You don't understand, the second you left my sight I-"

I blushed, wanting to sound less enamored than that, "I mean, the second I started thinking about work again, everything went away. Even you."

Rainbow didn't say anything, but started fiddling with some grass on the ground, deep in thought.

Taking a breath, I shut my eyes tight and said what I knew was right. "I don't think you should stay. No matter what I say you're probably in danger, or at least inconvenienced, by being here. You...you need to go home, Rainbow."

Still, she said nothing. When I looked over, though, I saw her tenderly take a flower that'd broken in my fall and pick it up between her hooves, holding it tenderly before presenting it out to me.

It wasn't very pretty, and it was probably a weed. Half the petals were crushed and folded over themselves.

In other words it was the best damn present I'd ever been offered. Tears welled up in my eyes as Rainbow began to speak, while I stared on and on at the flower.

"I don't have a home. I ran away, and landed in your apple trees because they were the only things I recognized. I'm here by chance, but..." She smiled, staring around at the farm, "I want to stay, if you'll have me. I want to stay for the good apples, and the top bunk, and that decent view of the sky. But most of all, I like the company. I like her because she's sweet, and charming, and looks out for the best of others, even if she can't always do the best for herself."

She looked at me from the corner of her eye.

I, of course, had wiped away my tears before she could she them. "Well...if you're certain you wanna stay," I tsked, concentrating my gaze on the flower, "I'm not gonna tell you no."

The following silence was grateful from both ends. She stared into the sky, and I eventually joined her, the clear blue magnetizing. I wondered if Rainbow like to fly, or if she could. I'd never seen her do it before.

"Hey, AJ?"

Rainbow had stopped my mind from imagining the odd picture of her in the sky, doing tricks like a typical pegasus. "Mm?"

"What's your name?"

Though she said it absently, I felt the weight and meaning behind the words.

"You just said my name, Skittles."

"..."

"Alright, alright. My name is Applejack."


	11. New In Town

The first few hours with my new housemate flew. I had given her a full tour of the farmlands, making sure she knew everything important like where building were and extreme weather preparedness. Soon into the tour it became clear to me that this was a whole new world for her; each new thing made her smile grow and eyes sparkle, only brightening when listening to my descriptions of the items. She would constantly interrupt my careful lectures on useful information just to point animatedly at random things like insects, barbed wire, or animals.

Except...I wasn't bothered by it. I actually found myself anticipating the next interruption. Something was satisfying about observing Rainbow's excitement. There had been several instances of her waving a hoof in my face, waking me from a trance.

I felt embarrassed each time she caught me smiling at her, but I was just being silly; I simply enjoyed how something as insignificant as a butterfly made her so happy-and the way she looked to me for an explanation. There was nothing wrong with that, and it didn't seem to bother Rainbow, so why did it bother me?  
  


By the time we were done it was later in the afternoon- way too late for lunch, almost time for dinner. My stomach growled unhelpfully as we walked down the dirt road, back towards the barn house.

I sighed, frustrated with my poor scheduling. "It's a damn shame we didn't stop to eat sooner, sorry bout' that."

Rainbow hummed in agreement. "I might have said something if I wasn't so distracted..."

"Yeah, that spider really ruffled your feathers." I smirked.

"Seriously AJ, how do they have that many legs?! If I had eight legs, I couldn't walk the way they do. In fact, I wouldn't even stand, I'd just fall to the ground and die. Imagine it."

She didn't make it difficult, pretending to unbalance on four extra nonexistent legs and plopping onto the road.

I chuckled. "You followed that poor thing around for twenty minutes before gettin' distracted again."

"Yeah, okay, but in my defense...it had fangs. Like a vampire. I was following the creature to find it's evil lair! And I eventually intimidated it enough to make it leave, consequently saving us all in the process. So don't blame me for taking time out to save Equestria."

She nodded, content with this extravagant narrative.

Snorting in disbelief, I extended a hoof to pull Rainbow back to her hooves. "Whatever you say, Colors. But we're going over how to use a fire extinguisher again when we get back to the house."

Continuing our walk in momentary quiet, I looked back up to the clouds, passing the time in nothing but pure, blissful companionship.  
  


"...Hey AJ?" Rainbow spoke, voice small.

"What is it?" I replied, concern underlying my words.

"I just wanted to thank you."

Thank god, she was just being sweet again. I let out a relieved sigh. "For what?"

"Uh, I was thinking about that nice tour you gave me. And how I kept interrupting it."

"Sugar, don't you start apologizin' again."

"I would never." She chuckled. "But it's just...I realized that I was being pretty overwhelming, asking you questions about lots of stuff, when you were only trying to teach me what was important. But you kept-" Her voice broke, and she blushed slightly, clearly not as composed as she wished. "You kept answering me, when you didn't have to. And I know so much more about this place, thanks to you! You're really good at explaining things, even when they're super simple, that way an airhead like me can understand."

I opened my mouth to interject, to tell her she wasn't an airhead, but she cut in with a bear hug.

"Seriously Applejack, I feel smarter just being close to you. You should be a teacher!"

At this point she spoke with such passion that I couldn't help melting under the praise. "Seriously, it's cool Rainbow. Nothing I said would matter if you weren't listening so well."

She let me go, pretending to scowl and failing miserably, a smile tugging the corners of her mouth, a joyful gleam in her eyes. "Yeah right, don't attempt to turn this on me. You're brilliant, and deserve to know it."

I felt my ears and cheeks betray me, both turning a sharp red against my gruff orange coat.

"You okay Applejack? You look sick..." Rainbow fretted, placing a hoof to my forehead.

I flinched, but didn't back away. "What are you doing?"

"Checking for a fever, Crumble."

She broke her worried disposition. "Get it, like crumble? Apple crumble?"

Rainbow snickered to herself and I rolled my eyes fondly.

Returning her efforts towards looking for a trace of illness, my blush worsened. The close proximity was murder, reminding me of how much closer she had been earlier. _Much_ closer.

"Nope, nothing. Oh well, I'm glad you're feeling alright AJ. Now, weren't you saying something about being hungry? "

Coughing, I begrudgingly settled back into my normal grumpy composure, but I felt more touch-starved than anything. "We could grab a bite in town if you want?"

"Sounds good. Are you ready to go?" Rainbow chirped.

Even if we were both starving, I bet she was probably more interested in Ponyville than the promise of a meal.

I started walking, making sure Rainbow was with me before saying, "Not quiteready. We've gotta go back to the barn."

"What for?"

Keeping my trap partially shut, an easy out formed on my lips. "Cash, saddlebags, et cetera."

"Alright, but hurry, I want to see the town!"

Called it.

Also, the reasons I stated weren't really the truth, but I wanted the real thing to be a surprise. I hadn't really worn them in ages, had I?  
  


Back at the barn, I told Rainbow to wait at the front doorstep outside the house. She complied, promising to wait as long as I didn't take too long.

Left to my own devices, I rushed up the stairs to the bedroom and began rummaging through the ancient wardrobe opposite the bed. With a smirk, I eventually grabbed the desired accessories.

Two minutes later I trodded back down the stairs, blinking in irritation. Taking a deep breath and opening the door, I see Rainbow and step towards her nonchalantly.

"Alright, I've got the stuff."

"Sweet. Bags, cash, and etc., supposedly. So are you ready to go n-"

Her words were halted by her own soft gasp. She had looked into my eyes and seen an unfamiliar gaze staring back.

They were purely cosmetic-a pair of emerald green contact lenses. The intimidating aura around me was still present, but less so, and in them I felt safer; more ordinary.

"Pretty convincing, huh?" I smirked. "Made them myself- optometrists are a real nightmare round' these parts," I confided, "but even if they weren't, it ain't exactly a standard request. They hide eyes like mine, and...yeah."

She said nothing, she just stared slack-jawed at my unusually-colored irises.

I faltered in my pride at the cool inventions: Was I being insensitive? Poking fun at such a serious issue, one we both shared, that I didn't know her full story on?

"Should I take them off? I didn't mean to upset you, Rainbow."

Quickly shaking her head, she blinked rapidly, still unable to take her eyes away. Though she was too nice to say it, I could tell she disliked the change.

"Look Dash, they're really not my cup of tea either, but wearing them stops the looks I get otherwise. As long as you're okay with it, I'm gonna want to wear them," I confessed. "Are you sure it's alright?"

She sighed, then nodded. "Of course it's fine. I'm just going to miss seeing your real eyes for the whole afternoon." Rainbow smiled, booping my nose and walking away, on the path towards civilization.  
  


Not much later the numerous cottages and buildings of the small village came to view, stretching over a fine grassland. As we entered the city, a few ponies waved our direction, recognizing me as the local apple-farmer, smiling in welcome to the new mare beside me.

Occasional murmurs broke out among the groups of ponies, and a few even pointed at Rainbow before smiling and going about their day.

I leaned towards her, speaking under my breath so only she could hear. "Check it out Skittles, you're famous. Maybe you'll have a fan club by the time we're out of here."

She leaned in too, not necessarily excited about the attention. "You'd think they'd have better things to talk about. Is this place small enough to get that excited over a stranger?" Rainbow whispered.

"Yeeup, you're pretty much the main attraction at the moment, til' some monster comes rampaging around. You wouldn't believe Ponyville's insurance rates."

Intrigue flashed across her face, but she decided not to act on it. "Is why there are so many tourists? Because of monsters?"

Now that she mentioned it, there did seem to be some unfamiliar folk scattered around.

Damn, is that shit still going on? "Monsters would usually be a safe bet for tourism, but that's not what they're really after at the moment." I suspended.

"What? What is it AJ?"

"I'll explain later; I have someone I need to catch up with first."

I suppose it was finally time to be back. And with my new partner at my side, I realized how much easier it would be.


	12. Ignorance Was Bliss

In minutes, we had approached the hot pink parlor doors of Sugarcube Corner, pausing just outside the doors to catch our breath from the fairly-long walk to the bakery.

Rainbow marveled at the cookie-inspired architecture. "Is this the tourist place? Equestria's largest gingerbread house?"

I shook my head, smiling. "Nope. I've got an old friend who lives and works here. She's...sorta eccentric, but nothing harmful."

"That's a sketchy way to describe a friend." Rainbow pointed out, eyebrows raised.

"You'll understand in a second. It doesn't take long to see how easily rules bend to her whim."

Rainbow still seemed mildly concerned but said nothing.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the doors and we both stepped inside.  
  


The smell of sugar hit us on our first step into the shop, provided by treats of all variations: cupcakes, doughnuts and cookies were neatly aligned in their own seperate glass casings, ordered and managed thoroughly, giving the establishment an edge of professionalism, as well as good taste.

It was exactly as I'd remembered it, other than the clear organizational improvement.

A particularly-rich scent of chocolate rose to our nostrils as, from the back door leading to the kitchen, a bubbly pink pony emerged, holding a tray of piping-hot brownies on her head.

Eyes closed and nose crinkled, she hummed along to a song playing softly over the speakers, smiling widely, beginning to fill a piping bag. Her back was turned to the two of us, and she clearly hadn't heard us come in.

With the later hour, I expect the shop was probably about to close; the shop was empty but for us three.

Poking Rainbow in the the ribs, I cupped a hoof to whisper in her ear, quiet as not to inform the baker of our presence.

"You're gonna love her."

She grinned, watching the girl bake contentedly, waiting for me to introduce them.

I looked at the girl behind the counter. She hadn't really changed, except she was getting older like the rest of us. But the air around her was bright and bouncy- always had been, always would be.

I cleared my throat, and this seemed to break her concentration. "Your menu is the exact same as always, but what's up with the brownies? There ain't never been a brownie on that menu long as you lived."

Silence lay over the shop, quickly interrupted by a sound like a firecracker from Pinkie. She turned, eyes gleaming as she hopped over the dessert bar, attacking me with the biggest embrace she could muster, her smaller figure still packing a decent punch. She buried her face into my chest and I laughed, patting her back.

Practically squealing, she looked up into my face, head still on my chest. "You're back, after this freaking long!?"

Chuckling at my old friend, I pointed to Rainbow, who was sitting politely as Pinkie took no effort to notice her. "Yep, I'm back for good, thanks to my new stowaway."

"Wait a minute," Pinkie froze from where she had latched herself onto my torso, "this calls for a celebration!"

She suddenly bolted to the door, flipping the sign to close the shop then darting into the kitchen, banging pots and pans by the sounds of it. I appreciated the fact that Pinkie knew I wouldn't like a party, instead showing her affection with something smaller and private, but still in classic party-pony overexcitement mode.

Chuckling, I hollered so she could hear from her workplace. "Really now, I don't want a fuss. Besides, there's someone pretty important you need to meet in here." I winked at Rainbow, who had appeared utterly confused with the entire situation, a small blush on her cheeks.

Yelping after accidentally lighting a small fire, Pinkie shouted back, "Sorry important pony, I promise to meet you in a second- but I've gotta tend to my best buddy's returnaversary first!"

I rolled my eyes as the kitchen began emanating a faint drilling noise; familiar in its absurdity and unfamiliarity.

Pinkie bounced out of the kitchen ten minutes later, holding a plate topped with three candlelit cupcakes. Shooing us hurriedly to a table, she forced us into two chairs and sat alone on the other side.

She held her creations proudly. "Bon appétit! These are our two favorite flavors, stranger, but I figured you'd appreciate something they wouldn't have somewhere as fresh as it'd be here in our quaint little town."

There indeed sat a carrot-cake cupcake, and Rainbow stared in awe at how incredible it looked.

_'She is so sweet...'_

My ears warmed without me realizing until I felt Rainbow, trying to take my temperature, appearing concerned yet again. I brushed her away, blushing even harder.

Pinkie looked between us, thought to herself, and snorted.

"You got a problem, Pie?"

"None at all," Pinkie smirked at the gap between Rainbow and me, "Have you got one?"

I sighed- it was good to be back.

Remembering my manners, I addressed Pinkie, indicating the pegasus beside me. "Pinkie, this is my new housemate Rainbow Dash. She's in from Cloudsdale, staying for the foreseeable future."

Rainbow grinned shyly, shrinking in her seat and waving. I turned to face her, eyes softening at her complete lack of confidence.

"And Rainbow," I smiled, gesturing proudly across the table, "this is my best friend, Pinkamena Diane Pie."

Pinkie had shoved her entire cupcake into her mouth, spitting crumbs everywhere as she chewed with chipmunk cheeks, swallowing quickly in order to talk, making Rainbow giggle.

"Charmed! What brings you two to town? And what brings you to my sweet old shop?"

Glancing sideways, Rainbow looked just as eager to know as Pinkie.

I glanced innocently at Pinkie as I spoke. "Well, we were in town looking for a bite to eat when Rainbow here mentioned a little something about the tourists milling around-"

Pinkie scowled, banging her elbow up onto the table and facehoofing. "Ugh, don't even get me _started_ on the tourists-

Her smile faded slightly. "You want me to explain the tourists? Oh, fine, but only cause I'm happy you're back."

She shifted to face Rainbow, grumbling. "Alright, so listen up rookie- I'm part of the Mane 4, including Twilight Sparkle, the alicorn princess, possible smartest pony in Equestria, along with two other amazing girls. We work against dark forces who threaten Equestria with their evil ways through the power of friendship. With the recent defeat of another baddie, the Castle of Friendship grew as a replacement for Twily's old home...and now creatures from around the world are flocking to see it, like it's some sorta landmark."

"Thing is, it's really just a fancy house, and it bothers the princess to no end being constantly stalked and admired. She's grateful and everything, but she really misses her old home, and has a buncha new burdens to bear. It makes me pretty stressed, knowing how stressed she gets..." Pinkie lamented, a sad grin on her face.

"Maybe it wouldn't bother you so much if you weren't hopelessly in love with her." I muttered, glancing wickedly at Pinkie.

She twitched in her seat, face flushing, but chose not to speak, glaring at me throughout the rest of the conversation.  
  


After finishing her cupcake, with endless compliments to Pinkie, Rainbow politely asked where the bathroom was.

"Oh, the shop doesn't have one, but you can use mine! It's in the back, upstairs. And say hi to Gummy for me, he'll be in the bath!"

"Don't ask..." I advised, in response to Rainbow's startled stare in my direction. She grinned, and I smiled as she took her leave through the back doors.

Seconds later, Pinkie let out a snicker. "And you're telling me _I'm_ in love. Clearly I'm not the only one..."

I gaped at her, dumbfounded. _'Was I that obvious?'_

She shrugged. "You know I can read you like a book. I've never seen your ears go red before, you must be falling hard for her."

Shaking my head, I looked helplessly down into my lap. "I've known her less than a week, it's just an impulse. It'll pass eventually." I sighed, not sure if I wanted to believe it. "I don't think she's interested in me, honestly."

"Hey, from what I can see, I think she likes you a ton, AJ!"

"Well, um, she did kiss me once-"

Pinkie clapped a hoof over my shaky mouth, knocking the empty cupcake plate off the table with a clatter. "Shut your freaking mouth right now," she shrieked, "how do you think she doesn't like you if-"

I slapped her hoof off my mouth and covered hers instead. "Pinkie for the love of god stop yelling! We can talk about this later, Rainbow'll be back any minute." I whispered, wiping my hoof on the tablecloth after moving it from Pinkie's mouth.

Pinkie begrudgingly nodded, crossing her legs and slouching with pouted lips.

Hesitating, I remembered the thing I wanted to talk to her about. I needed another perspective, and Pinkie was better than anypony else I knew. "I didn't give her any of the eye contacts before leaving the house today. She acted pretty badly against them."

Pinkie whistled, her face full of sympathy. "I don't blame her. It's terrible, whatever happened. Do you think she's a...I mean that she?"

I had to say what I'd been thinking for days.

"Yeah, I think she's got it too. I mean," I glanced at the doors, listening for any hoofsteps on the stairs, "You've seen how thin she is, and those eyes-"

"They're very pretty," Pinkie said optimistically, "But I'm not sure I'd trade my health for them or anything. You're right, she's so very thin, have you ever even seen her fly?"

"I never did much research on it, did you? Maybe it could've happened in a flying accident."

"I don't know. But I moved on from all that nonsense, and Rainbow must have at this point too. I wish I could be as strong as her about it, I think my symptoms are getting worse by the day; you should've seen me earlier-"

"What are you two talking about?"

Rainbow stood from the back doors into the kitchen and I nearly had a heart attack. How much had she heard? My face went up in flames at the idea of her hearing everything.

"AJ, you definitely look sick again." Rainbow remarked, momentarily distracted.

Pinkie coughed, hiding a smirk behind her hoof. I kicked her under the table.

I coughed, and turned to face Rainbow. "We were just talking about you."

I don't know why I said it. I could have lied, or anything less incriminating than the truth. When I saw Rainbow, however, I realized I didn't want to. Pinkie looked star struck at the genuineness of my words.

"Oh, I-I mean, I heard that, but?" Rainbow laughed shakily. "'I wish I could be as strong as her about it'. What does 'it' mean?"

My heart dropped. Pinkie must have realized too, because she gasped. 

"Rainbow...do you not know...what kind of danger you're in?"

Her face lost any trace of worry. "I feel like you don't realize how many times I've heard that today."

I ignored that, even if it was pretty funny. "Rainbow, what color were your eyes the last time you looked in the mirror?" I swallowed, praying that we were wrong- that _I_ was wrong.

Her vision glazed over, blinking back what was probably hundreds of memories. "Magenta. Why, is that a prob-"

My chair hit the floor with a crack as I stood up, kicking it across the room in a rage. _'Control it, control your anger, control your fear...'_

"Why is she...what's wrong with my eyes?" Rainbow questioned with much more seriousness than before.

Pinkie cleared her throat, truly remorseful. "I don't think Applejack is gonna be able to tell you at the moment, so I will. Is that okay?"

She seemed to be asking me more than Rainbow. A part of me screamed no, to run over, take my hooves and clamp them over her ears and keep them there forever, to hold her and run back to the farm. But I couldn't do it, and I certainly needed some time to vent before taking any actions whatsoever.

Pinkie continued with a worried glance in my direction. "Rainbow, there is a process which, though it's really, really rare, a pony will sort of...flip, when they're in a lot of danger. Key aspects and parts of a pony will be converted until it is determined that the soul will no longer be in peril. It's meant to save your _soul_ , not your body. It's triggered by danger, anything that could've killed the host. There is no cure for it, and you're basically living as a shell of your formal self, with certain problems based on the intensity of the original causes for switching in the first place.

But the one thing that always changes is the eyes. Applejack and I, we don't know much. She was only a kid when it happened to her, then I hardly ever saw her again...I was never sure if she'd gotten through it or not, and now you're both here..."

She sighed, grabbing a dustpan and broom to clean up the remnants of the broken chair, "I'm glad I got to meet you, Rainbow. And it's always a pleasure, Applejack. I hope I get to see you again after you leave the shop tonight."


	13. Pursuing Your Curiosities

Looking back on it, the most mature thing to do when realizing your friend is afflicted with the same illness as you, as had just happened to me, is not to go into a rage and start breaking your old best friend's furniture. But it's still what I did.

After a chair, two tables and a display case I must've passed out, because that's the carnage I woke up to, lying on the floor and being cradled in Rainbow's bony arms. She was soft and inexplicably warm, and the anger and hurt in my system slowly replaced with sorrow. I shook uncontrollably with unshed tears, breathing harsh and shallow into Rainbow's chest.

Eventually, I felt Rainbow hover next to my ear, calm. "Shh, Applejack, it's okay. I didn't even know, I'm alright..." She soothed, rubbing circles into my back.

I snaked my arms around her middle, clutching to her, still shaking violently.

Noticing the increased pressure, Rainbow held me closer, resting her head on top of mine, tickling my ear with each gentle breath. Her thin torso warm and fluffy, heart beating like a melody.

Several moments later, she shifted to look me in the eyes, caution lacing her words. "Are you okay to let go now?"

I hesitated, then nodded. I did not remotely wanted to move, but I didn't want either Rainbow or Pinkie to feel awkward.

Rainbow smiled down. "I don't think you're okay to let go, but I think you're considerate."

My stupid ears decided to burn and Rainbow's smile brightened. Picking me up and checking to see if I could stand, we strode back to the table where Pinkie sat.

She looked wearily around at the wrecked shop, then to us with no better an expression.

As we settled back down, I knew I had to apologize for it. But the second I opened my mouth to comply, Rainbow interlaced her left hoof with my right under the table, and any thought of speaking vanished instantly. Laying my head in my elbow on the table, I allowed the others to speak, noticing how exhausted I'd become. I was only braced to reality by her light blue hoof intertwined with my darker orange one.

Rainbow looked to Pinkie for guidance. "So...what's the curse called?"

I interjected despite my wish to stay mostly out of it. "She doesn't know. The name is Borderline Disorder, but only victims can hear it. Celestia knows what Pinkie just heard instead."

"Your voice kinda like, buzzed out for a second. It's part of the magic." Pinkie agreed, nodding to me then turning back to Rainbow. "Nobody knows why it happens. Some ponies say it's to save ponies in mortal danger, others think it's to save the public from a dangerous individual, giving them a new life perspective. The more negative ponies think...it's to get the bad ponies to off themselves quicker. Old pony tales say Nightmare Moon was the oldest case of it, but some think it goes back as far as Star Swirl the Bearded, when he supposedly went mad."

I growled into the table, face now completely hidden. "They're probably right about the suicide thing. One of the main side effects is unidentified mental projection; influence, in other words. Today you could be happy as rain, tomorrow you're seeing images of nooses and hearin' voices that aren't the normal kind. It's like, like some sorta self-destruct tactic, and it's some utter bullshit if you ask me."

Rainbow sat in thought for a moment. "How come you were so mad a minute ago? Are you just, uh," she deliberated on a non-triggering word, "are you just sensitive about the whole Borderline thing?"

"No, it's just- if you've got Borderline, it means something really, really, _really_ shitty happened to you. And you just _happened_ to be running away from home? It's bullshit! It's bullshit whatever somepony did to you, and I kept thinking about it and I...got mad, again..."

I shrugged, gloom and afterthought plaguing my mind.

Silence scalded our ears worse than tongues on a hot plate. I didn't dare move, as if fearing the disturbance of quiet would snap the stitches piecing together the fabric of the universe. _'We got picked, and now our lives are trashed. What could we have been doing instead of this, huh?'_

Rainbow suddenly quirked an eyebrow, breaking my existentialism. "Wait a minute, how do you know how bad the disorder is?"

"Dunno, I've been living?"

"But really, what sources are there to prove anything? Like professional insights or medical records?" Rainbow inquired, getting up and pacing along the table. She was clearly in top gear, having spotted something vital.

Pinkie chimed in, catching wind of her proposition. "Neither of us really looked into it. After she was affected, there were bigger problems at hoof- she was getting into fights with the wrong ponie...she's really mellowed out since then, but she's pretty lucky I was there." She winked at me, and I smiled sardonically.

Closing my eyes, I thought back to the shittiest moments of my life. "I didn't want to learn anymore than I already had." I shuddered, unconsciously gripping Rainbow's hoof tighter under the table.

Her inspiration only heightened. "Doesn't that mean there could be a cure somewhere? Maybe a Canterlot professor who knows something, or an old pony historian with old Equestrian documents, or-"

"Or Twilight!" Pinkie gasped, "Twilight is the biggest bookie in Equestria! She's gotta have at least five different libraries in that new castle, and is bound to let you use one. It's not exactly a _friendship_ problem," Pinkie covered her face to give me a look which I despised,"but I know she'll at least try to help two ponies in need."

"And if simply requesting doesn't work," I muttered to Rainbow, "we can inform her of a certain pink pony who might consider it a desirable outcome. How much do you bet the Princess of Friendship is absolutely _smitten_ for her?"

Rainbow snickered, leaning across the table to whisper loudly to Pinkie, "Are you gonna join our little research party, or will keeping your hooves off 'Twily' be too hard while we're there?" 

I wolf whistled, and Pinkie turned an incredible shade of magenta.

"Maybe I will stay out of you two's quest." She got up, pushing a giggling Rainbow and I to the front doors. "Thanks for stopping by, next time drop your snark off at the door before coming in."

Wide, plastered smile on her face, the two of us did nothing to stop her from shoving us roughly through the exit, laughing and watching her flip the sign to OPEN before disappearing back into the bakery.  
  


A couple hours later, we were back on the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres. We'd picked up a couple hay burgers then taken to roaming around town, checking out the nighttime farmers market, watching the strange but cheery occupants of Ponyville in the approaching dusk. Easy to say, I was exhausted by the amount of happiness and energy which poured from every single pony they happened to talk to, but I was glad my companion could be more social- I think she took to strangers well.

Farther down the dirt road, the area became more and more speckled with trees, and we were eventually blanked us from the world. It only permitted us to see the sky from above...and as we ambled along, it shifted into a rose pink.

I nudged Rainbow with my shoulder, breaking her gaze from the ground, and nodded upwards. Her lips parted as she observed the gentle mix of light red and darker blue, eyes sparkling in wonder.

 _'She'd never seen them before.'_ She had never seen the way they shared and combined the world's colors. Right now, she couldn't tell how the paleness of each iris absorbed the intensity of the sky, taking the worst parts and blending them into something greater. They were a brilliant purple, a twisted amalgamation of the sunset, but only a hint.

The change was so slight, I wouldn't think it was real; but I knew I could never be creative enough to make up something as beautiful as that. Nothing compared to seeing those new colors and watching her make beauty out of ordinary things.

"AJ, why are you staring at me like that?"

Rainbow snapped me back to reality, and I averted my gaze. "No reason sugarcube, just spacin' out."

She fidgeted, looking away as well. "I know you're lying. But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Rainbow breathed, still walking with a calm expression. She watched from the corner of her eye.

I bit my lip. I felt guilty for lying, but what else was I going to do, gush over her eyes directly to her face? I think fucking not. 

"Your- I just can't believe you've never seen your eyes when they're like that."

I mumbled it barely loud enough for her to hear. Glancing over, I see her contemplating me with the exact same reaction she had whilst observing the setting sky.

"Do you mind, um," Rainbow whispered, stopping in the middle of the road, "Would you tell me what they look like? Right now?"

I gaped at her.

"It's just that it's been driving me crazy since earlier! I didn't want to look in a mirror, and freak out and ruin the day, and you explain things so helpfully, and-" She rambled on, sitting down on her hind legs, eyes downcast.

"Rainbow, don't worry, it's alright. Are you sure you wouldn't rather see them yourself? I'd feel terrible if I ruined it for you."

I walked to where she had halted. Her head was now ducked, wings partially unfolded, resembling two feathery shields.

"I'm just so afraid," she choked, "I'm so scared to look in the mirror. What if the second I realize how different I am, I have an attack, or I start getting those mental projections like you were talking about? I might do something horrible."

I gently pushed her wings away, revealing a trembling Rainbow, kneeling and clutching her head in desperation.

Sinking to my own knees, I shuffled closer, foreheads almost touching. "You are always safe with me. Any problem you will encounter through Borderline, I've experienced too. I'll be with you during every moment, to hold you close, to support you. We'll be okay, together."

She relaxed slightly, releasing her head, but she wouldn't stand.

I softened, taking her hooves in mine. "I have never seen eyes more beautiful than yours, cursed or otherwise."

Rainbow sniffled, gripping me harder as if in pain. But I could see the corners of her mouth lifted in a weak smile. "AJ, that was cheesy."

"Yeah, but you feel a little better now so it's worth my dignity. Now is it okay if I..."

She hesitated, then nodded, sitting up straight and looking me directly in the eyes.

I spoke aloud every thought I possessed, driven by the stupefying sensation I got every time her attention was solely mine.

"They're alabaster white, and mistier than the thinnest fog. There's a few glints of light threatening to break through the surface, which is a smooth bleached glass, a closed window to the curiosity within. Every time you look at something, you share its beauty, and turn it into a color completely your own. They're modest enough to not impose on the world outside of themselves, but they have every right to, because they're unique, and beautiful and..."

I sighed, never looking away. "They're perfect."

Rainbow wouldn't speak, only staring back with suppressed gratitude.

...What I _wanted_ to say, was that I loved her eyes because they didn't lose their shine when looking into mine- that each one reflected beauty onto a world which was apparently shit enough to toss us both to the dumpster. I wanted to tell her that when she kissed me, I couldn't see her eyes, and that was by far the worst part. I wanted to say _you're_ unique, and _you're_ beautiful, and _you're_ perfect.

But no, I wasn't gonna say that. So I said they're white.

Later, I took out my contacts, putting them back into my bedroom wardrobe, the drawer closing with a dull thud. As much as I'd admired them in the past, something felt wrong about them now.

Looking in the mirror, I saw a tired pony looking back, drowsy but blissful. A yawn overtook me, limbs carrying me blindly to the bottom bunk's covers and sliding underneath. Close to drifting off already, I turned onto my back and smirked at the mattress above where the new, snoozing pegasus lay, curled into a ball.

Since explaining her transitioned eyes, she had rushed us back here, galloping full speed to the bedroom mirror she'd neglected before- with the amount of grime and dust on it I didn't blame her for missing it earlier. She almost cried when seeing them for the first time, thanking me repeatedly for preparing her, and that they were exactly as I said.

The smile she'd given me made me happier than I'd been in years. She was the last thing I remember thinking about before dozing into a dreamless sleep.


	14. We've Got History

The walk into Ponyville the next morning was more pleasant than the first. Less ponies had the audacity to stare at my wings, and I waved kindly at the ones who recognized us from the previous visit.

AJ was sulking next me, scrutinizing the artificial candy-apple red invading my irises with a scrunchy nose. "I still don't see why you had to wear those."

That morning I had seen AJ open a drawer with an array of colorful contact lenses inside, and immediately asked to try some too; much to her annoyance.

"...It ain't like you have anything to hide," she continued, "your regular color is incredible."

I smiled warmly, making a point to stare into her bright green eyes while speaking. "Maybe, but why do you wear those even if I think your natural color is pretty?"

AJ glanced down and bit her bottom lip, and I watched in exasperation as her ears burned red, then faded, like an attempt to produce flame with a broken lighter.

_'She seriously has to have caught something. I hope she's okay.'_

Ten minutes later, AJ gestured ahead to our approaching destination. "Time to arrange a deal with the Princess."

The large palace resembled one of the trees I had come to know and love, except made of crystal. A blue trunk supported the purple base in which, undoubtedly, held the princess. Highlights of pink, yellow, white, and lavender hung off a balcony in strings, the recurring gold accents such as the staircase and railings gleaming in the sunlight.

Our hoofsteps clinked on the ascent towards the humongous castle doors, the staircase sparkling with cleanliness and polish.

Doubt crept into my mind as we stood, collecting ourselves before entering the palace, with its big fancy doors and intimidating crystaline structure- what about this place was supposed to be friendly? I thought it just looked intimidating.

AJ regarded my anxious silence, bumping my shoulder. "Hey, are you really that nervous?"

I shrugged, rubbing my leg subconsciously. "Well, she is royalty..."

"So what? She's the leader of everything harmony, how pissy could she really get."

"I know that, but what if she doesn't let us use her libraries, or kicks us out after realizing what we are?" 

Her expression melted. Then she smirked, letting out a disbelieving puff of air. "Trust me Rainbow, I've heard more stories about Twilight than is strictly necessary from Pinkie Pie and she sounds right lovely. We both grew up in this town, and she always fell for the nerds- now she knows the biggest nerd, and she couldn't help herself."

I grinned weakly, but something on my face must've looked ingenuine, because she kept going.

"We, more importantly you, shouldn't be worried." She assured. Raising a hoof, AJ knocked on the door with total confidence.

I knew she was right, she usually was. And as the door opened, I realized how much less nervous I was.

A small purple dragon about half as tall as AJ opened the door. He looked protective, like a real guard, and he certainly looked loyal. His solid demeanor dropped as he saw two ordinary-ish ponies, but I didn't miss the glance at my wings. 

"Hiya! I'm Spike, Princess Twilight's assistant. How may we be of service?" He greeted, smiling politely at the pair of us.

I beamed, very much appreciating the hospitality. "Hi Spike, I'm Rainbow, and this is my friend AJ. It's great to meet you, and I'm sure we'll be good friends, but would you mind letting us speak to Princess Twilight? We have some very urgent business to discuss with her."

Spike glanced up at me, a spark of curious excitement in his eyes. "Figured you wanted to talk to her, how urgent is it? I can send a message to her, or we could set up some sorta meeting-

While he was talking, his eyes flicked up towards AJ and he gasped, letting go of the door and tripping backwards, landing with a dull thump on the floor, staring up at her with abject horror.

AJ and I looking down at the shocked dragon assistant in confusion, he gulped out, "Are you gonna take no for an answer? I can go get her now, in fact," he shot up and dusted himself off, "Stay right there, I'll just...see you in a minute!"

And then he ran down the hall and took a right, but not before staring at AJ again with awe and apprehension.

One bewildered silence later, I voiced what we were both thinking. "Uh...what was that about? All he did was look at you then he's running away."

AJ shook her head, confused as I was, staring at the spot he'd vanished.

She faced me, about to say something when I noticed it: her left eye's contact was missing, leaving green _and_ black in just two eyes. It was pretty chilling, how one looked so cold and the other so warm- definitely enough to frighten anyone not expecting it.

I let out a snort of laughter, shutting the golden door and pointing to AJ's shiny reflection.

Her mouth clamped shut with a pop as she pondered herself in the gleaming door. "Whoops. Well, uh," she brightened, clapping me on the shoulder and rooting around for her rogue contact lens, "It got the job done, at least..."

In no time the doorknob glowed with a magenta aura. The door opened quickly, revealing the famous Twilight Sparkle, who was panting and leaning up against the door.

She was taller than me, shorter than AJ, even if her posture held stronger than the two of us combined. Her mane and tail hung in neat navy bangs with a bold streak of hot pink, similar to the color that magicked the door open. Her plum eyes were tired, and she was definitely out of breath, but she practically radiated authority anyway. 

"Oh, hi, where," Twilight puffed, letting go of the door and standing shakily on her own four hooves, "Where's the danger? Did you two come to let us know?"

"No- well, actually yes, but..." I stammered. "There's been a misunderstanding, sorry, it's just...we're here to ask for help researching a problem we've got."

The princess' eyebrows furrowed, her breath catching up to her, comprehension draining from her face. "You're...you're here for research? Spike?"

Spike, it seemed, was also out of breath. Propped up against Twilight, he gestured vaguely to AJ. "There's something...up...with that one. Sorry, just," he wheezed, "freaked out, s'all..."

AJ nodded her head gravely. "Yeah, 'something up' might be accurate enough. We're here to look for obscure knowledge and secrets potentially unique to all Ponykind. We figured you might be able to help."

Twilight stared, seriously contemplating our request but still looking a little confused and suspicious.

A light bulb went off in my head, an idea to possibly push her over the edge. "Think about it! A nice research session could relieve some of the stress about your new home!"

AJ's head snapped around to face me and I turned to stare back at her, confused as to what I did wrong. _'If she was emotionally invested wouldn't that give her more motivation?'_

Then realization hit me; Pinkie was the one who told us about that. I snapped my mouth shut even if the words were too far gone.

Wincing, I glanced at Twilight, whose eyebrows were raised; however, her focus was not directed to me, but AJ. She looked her up and down before locking eye contact, giving a huge smile.

"I _thought_ you looked familiar! You're Applejack, yeah?"

AJ and I glanced at each other in wild confusion once more. Slowly, AJ nodded at Twilight, who now looked like she'd met a celebrity.

I then watched, with some amusement, as she tried and failed to recognize me, apologizing with the friendliest of faces and saying, "Sorry, she never said anything about a pegasus. Who're you?"

"I'm Rainbow Dash, I live with AJ. It's an honor to meet you, your highness."

I tried being formal, only to be waved off by Twilight. "Oh, please, just Twilight is fine! Spike," she spoke to her associate, who looked much calmer given Twilight's trust in us, "would you please show these two to the library? I'll meet you there- I need to write an invitation, which I would appreciate the help in sending."

Spike nodded, pride in his work more than clear as he ushered us inside. "Yes ma'am! Right this way, guys."  
  


Several winding halls later, our royal escort halted before twofold doors, gripping the handles and thrusting them inwards.

It was like a bookworm's dream. The blue shelves rose on and on to the transparent crystal ceiling, where daylight stretched down, not even touching the floor, leaving a dim effect aided by the lanterns and candles littered around several desks. Fluffy cushions and bean bag chairs looked warm and inviting, and stacks upon stacks of books rose from where no shelf space remained. I gawked at the marvelous new area, and, glancing at AJ, her mouth had parted in awe. Though neither of us were exactly bookish, we understood a nice library when we saw one.

We were combing through the collection, Spike watching over us at the door until Twilight strode into the room with some rolled-up parchment held aloft by magic. She spoke to Spike, though we couldn't hear it, and he set the letter on fire before leaving the room.

I personally thought it was a little odd, but no one else seemed to comment on it.

AJ spotted Twilight, hearing the doors close when Spike left. "Who'd you send the invitation to?"

Twilight smiled, "Pinkie Pie, of course? Oh, she's told me so much about you over the years, you wouldn't believe. So, what are you two interested in researching?" The princess asked, strolling in and organizing a section labeled, 'Magical Herbs and Fungi', speaking loudly over her shoulder in the ginormous library.

I coughed, faltering away from the doorway to take a seat in a small pink poof near Twilight. "Well, the two of us are kind of, um, sick."

AJ sauntered over to a large red bean bag chair about twice the size of an average pony and sunk into it until only her hat, ears, and tail were visible. "Real sick."

Twilight looked concernedly over her shoulder, eyebrow raised. "And you didn't go to the hospital because?"

A muffled snort sounded from the bean bag, the blonde tail flicking like a cat's. "As if. Hospitals round here don't _do_ curses."

The princess' gaze snapped to the cowgirl currently drowning in her own chair. "Somepony cursed you? That's an entirely different story!" Her eyes were thrown wide with either alarm or intrigue. Possibly both.

AJ rolled lazily out of the giant chair to accompany a poof right next to mine. "Okay, well...I'm assuming you can't hear me when I say the words, 'Borderline Disorder'."

The princess involuntarily stepped back, hitting a bookshelf and flinching as several thin volumes cascaded down. She managed to catch them all with her magic, and though not a single issue hit the floor, she smoothed them of any creases before returning them to the shelf.

She descended upon us, infinitely curious about our cause. "Oh my goodness, is it really...?" She said softly, kneeling closer to the pair of us in worry.

I met Applejack's eyes. A mischievous glint shone in them, and her trademark smirk emerged, in that adorable way it always did when she wanted to do something dramatic.

AJ reached out towards me, then hesitated. The confident gleam faded slightly, asking permission. I nodded; why would she be nervous?

She reached the rest of the way and took out one of my contacts, more delicate than anything, then proceeded with her own on the opposite side. As a unit, we turned to look Twilight dead in the eyes with four different colors presented before her: red, white, black, and green.


	15. Defense of the Admired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Blood

Rainbow's Pov:

Twilight stared at our newly-exposed irises for ten solid seconds, hardly breathing.

"Servo animam de victima." She spoke, her powerful eyes inches away from mine, examining.

"Bless you." AJ snickered, nudging me in the ribs. I smiled, but the princess just kept looking down at us with fascination.

"There are legends." The royal continued, transfixed. "Legends of reincarnation from thousands of moons ago. Ponies whose destinies were grim to none, who couldn't have saved themselves if they tried, suddenly better off than they ever were before; like they were completely different ponies. With the peaceful reign of Celestia and Luna, cases began fading away, cropping up only as folklore and rumors, meant to scare and nothing more." She trailed off, breaking eye contact to gaze around the room, in her own world of historical recollection.

AJ frowned, eyelids lowering. "Are you tellin' us we have managed to get ourselves wrapped up in a curse that hasn't been diagnosed since the Disharmony Ages."

"That's exactly what I'm telling you." Twilight chided, some of the delight draining from her face. In fact, the longer her gaze wavered on AJ, the colder she appeared. What was her problem?

The orange mare's expression grew ever darker. "Now now Twinkleshine, wouldn't want to look too happy about it."

"I'd have thought I made myself perfectly clear in my intentions, Applejack."

AJ seemed to take that as an open invitation. "Well Princess, I think I can make myself perfectly clear in saying what a royal pain in the-"

"Hey Twilight," I interjected, since AJ had started to get a bit too hostile towards the fourth-highest position of power in the country, ", is there not any information in this huge library? We came here because we figured it was a long shot finding a good source anywhere else."

"I doubt it. Old records of hundreds of different diseases and ailments, as well as most literature from that time were ruined by the Windigos' storms." The princess retorted somewhat in my direction, her hard expression weakening at the sight of me rather than AJ. Apparently I didn't invoke the preconditioned spite. "I'm sorry to say there isn't much I can do. "

She sighed, and I truly believed she took pity on us, or at least me. Not that I blamed her for it, but I wished things had been different: That the old records hadn't been destroyed, that it had only been me who got Borderline, or neither of us. Did we somehow deserve it? I don't even know the repercussions, but by the desperation of the tanned mare beside me...

"And you're sure you don't know anything? We're in dire need of assistance." AJ smiled in vain, slight panic in her eyes on her otherwise grinning face. Twilight didn't speak, only observing the Earth pony's sad attempt at a plea. A plea for her very life. A plea the princess was unable to accommodate.

Motioning for us to stand, the princess began a somber trot to the library door, and I followed suit. My spirits fell; this was our best chance to figure out how to cure, or, at least manage the disorder. I suppose we'd need to find another way, but according to the owner of practically every book in Equestria, our objective was hopeless.

Maybe we were hopeless too, and in the next couple weeks I'd be found bleeding out in the bath, or jumping off Town Hall. Isn't that how those mental projection things worked? Making you think up horrible things and...I don't know. But the thought of spending my last moments on the ground with the mare that introduced me to it was soothing. Dare I say more soothing than any point of my life in the sky.

"Your Royal Highness."

Both Twilight's and my head whipped around, ogling at AJ. She had stepped solidly off the cushion, her posture could be misplaced for one of the Guard. In those eyes, passion burned stronger than the flames of Hell, and she strode toward the princess, not looking at her directly. Settling at a respectful distance, she doffed her raggedy old hat and held it by the brim in her right hoof.

And she _bowed_. Left hoof positioned neatly in the square of her back, firmly pressed against it. Her head nodded graciously, eyes gracefully closed in a manner that suggested nobility and beyond even that.

I gawked at her, then at Twilight, who had the exact same reaction as me. In the shock, most of her indifferent, princess-y act faded, and she seemed much more approachable.

Recollecting herself from the bow yet maintaining awareness of her posture and reverent attitude, AJ's voice rumbled in a register I was surprised could meet our ears. "Please, may I join you in a conversation?" She requested, glimpsing me from the corner of her vision. The lurid, half-lidded darkness of her eyes sent me to places unknown, and I bit my lower lip to suppress them.

"I-I can, um, I can just wait outsi-" I spluttered, only to be interrupted.

"No." AJ purred, tone gravelly and sending a chill up my spine. "We can go. You just wait here Sugar; I'll be back momentarily." She promised, flicking me gently with her tail. Heat spread like wildfire through my entire body at the touch.

She awaited Twilight at the door, holding it open with the adherence of a soldier. After vigorously shaking her head in disbelief, the princess joined the farmer, and they escorted themselves outside, leaving me alone in the endless library with my thoughts for company.

The problem was, my thoughts couldn't separate themselves from AJ's sudden assertive disposition. My stomach dropped and swayed with the instances of each strong, careful action. How quickly she went from the sly, funny, partially-intimidating farm girl into somepony I'd never seen before: A charming, smooth-tempered soldier of a mare, whose goals were to get what she wanted, when she wanted it, and only for those she deemed worthy. Even if it was merely an act, I wanted to see it again.

And I wanted a private performance _._  
  


Applejack's Pov:

The thump of my heart against my chest was similar to that of a woodpecker.

I could hardly believe I'd kept my composure after acting so uniform to Twilight, thinking it hilarious how, well, noble I was acting towards the mare who had such a grudge against me. With every move I made, it was torturous not to sneak a glance at Rainbow; she was probably barely containing laughter just like me. I finally gave in, only peeking towards the pegasus, still in the act.

In that moment, the world seemed to fade around us. Her opalescent eyes, always enchanted in the world around her, were focused entirely on me. And in them lay the most carnal desire, followed by the biting of her lip.

I don't know what came over me. My voice deepened, my breathing quickened, my heart stopped, then proceeded to pound heavier than it had in years. The rest of my actions were a blur, but I vaguely remember attempting to rile her up before escorting the princess and I out of the library. I had done it on purpose, but now all I feel is regret; what if her looking like that was just a coincidence and I just ruined my friendship with the best pony I'd met in years?

"Well now, Ms. Jack," The princess said with wide eyes, ", that was quite a show you just put on."

I jumped back to the present, focusing on the royal tool-bag in front of me. Whatever happens, I won't let some stupid feelings get in the way of my friendship, no matter how hard I'll have to repress them. Rainbow means too much to me to just throw that away.

"Can it Moonlight, I have to talk to you." I scowled, giving less than half the effort I did twenty seconds ago. "You need to help us, you're the smartest pony in Equestria, and the prodigy of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. No one else could be better than you."

"I've already told you, I don't have any more knowledge than you two-"

"And I'm telling _you_ you're our only hope! What about the time you fixed that spell from Startwist the Beaver, or whatever he's called." I implored, taking an aggressively dramatic step forward. This, as it turns out, was a terrible thing to say to a huge magic nerd.

Her face scrunched up in distaste, and she stood her ground under me. "Starswirl the _Bearded._ And those are two different branches of magic." Twilight jeered.

I withheld the urge to yell the magic-centric cutie mark currently residing on her ass, as I didn't put it above her to hex me. "Excuse me, your grace."

An angered/amused silence hung thick; we both knew perfectly well that I was using her title wrong, and her pointing it out would only make it worse. The princess sighed, facehoofing while I sniggered.

"For the final time, there is nothing I can do to help you. Though I wish you all the best, I must request your vacation of the premises."

The laughter died in my throat, and I stepped forward again, not angry, but desperate. "Please, don't do this. I need help-"

"I don't want to repeat myself, Applejack. And I don't want to use force." She halted, voice smooth and piercing.

"Please, I!" I pleaded, almost throwing myself around her neck.

This time I wasn't interrupted. I was simply met with the cold fury of an alicorn princess. Her horn glowed, and she closed her eyes, concentrating hard on the spell.

"Twilight, if I don't get the cure Rainbow is going to die!" I shouted, tears pricking at the corners of my vision. But it was too late. The spell cast with a burst of pink light, and I was transported to the door of the palace.

Grief flooded through my veins as I stared into the door: I couldn't do it. I couldn't save Rainbow from fate. Nowhere else in Equestria would there be knowledge on Borderline, and all hope for the future seemed slim to none. The only hope we have left is to pray beyond a reason that the symptoms didn't drastically increase in a short time frame, but to slowly occur. If we were lucky, we could spend a year's worth of time before...before it becomes too much for her to handle.

That, or she'd be dead by the morning. And with her, I'd soon follow.

My sight refined as the warm tears, which had been steadily collecting, streaked down my face and onto the stairs below me. A sudden urge rose up inside me, urging my tears faster and faster downwards. Snapping my attention up, the urge rumbled in approval at the image of the perfect, golden, jewel-encrusted door to the castle in which I had been forcibly removed.

It looked beautiful, the gems adorning it reflecting back a portrait of me. Disgusting little me with the disorder and the disordered pegasus crush, both deemed too unfit for this world.

Before I knew what was happening, I had punched it, cracking the pristine crystal down the middle. It felt right. I punched it again. And again. And again and again and again until I accidentally missed, hitting the door instead, little to no interest present as I watched the red stain from my hoof leave streaks down the gold. The pain didn't occur to me as I proceeded to smash, punch, and buck each and every jewel on that god damned door, tears falling and mixing with the tiny pools of blood. Incoherent screams accompanied my actions, but I couldn't hear them. I don't even know if I said them aloud.

Panting, I fell to the ground, jolts of pain actually perceived by my brain from landing on the gem shards on the floor. The quiet and numbness that followed my destruction was agony, nothing, however, compared to what I would experience in the future.

The perfect door opened, and I remember seeing a smiling figure there before the world went black.


	16. Keep Her Alive

The familiar discomfort of the cheap mattress woke me more effectively than any alarm clock, rusty metal stamping my spine through thin layers of linen. The room remained just as dark between opening and shutting my eyes. Groggily sitting up, I gasped as pain hit my body like some perverted game of polish pong.

The bed springs above squeaked with slight pressure, but whatever was up there must have weighed very little. I groaned, resting back on my elbows; it was too early to be dealing with another opossum, or god forbid a raccoon. The extra noise I made startled the mystery creature, making it rustle around faster, possibly in the attempt to escape.

Seconds later, Rainbow swooped down from the top bunk, clinging upside-down on the rails, almost face to face with me. Ears floppy and mane disheveled, it would have been adorable if I hadn't so easily mistaken her for a marsupial, completely forgetting my housemate after almost a week of her presence. Sure, she'd been asleep for two of the five days, but still. Not my proudest moment.

"AJ! Are you feeling okay?" She cried, fretting at the disturbance of my slumber.

"Peachy." I croaked, blinking blearily in the near-darkness, the soreness in my throat bad enough to alter my voice. "Even if I sound like radio static."

Rainbow let out a shaky breath. "Thank goodness. And yeah, Twilight says you should start taking some medicine to help with the pain, for the things she couldn't fix easily with just magic." She explained, clutching the wooden base of the top bunk imperceptibly tighter.

I raised my eyebrows at the suspended pegasus. "Princess Fussbucket? Fix me?" I questioned, half surprised, half amused. "Did you have to sell your first born?"

A laugh met her and quickly departed. "No, I think she was worried about you. By the time I'd got there...your hooves and legs, the floors, all covered in blood... " She inhaled sharply, swallowing past a mouth drier than the Sahara. 

The pain increased as a pit in my stomach deepened.

Then her face broke into a shy grin. "For a second, I thought she'd stabbed you. But I heard her muttering incantations under her breath, saw the wounds healing. She saved you, even if she doesn't really like you that much."

"Oh." I replied, stunned. Was it my fault? What had I done to the princess to make her detest me as much as she did?

Noticing my disillusioned stupor, Rainbow gracefully cascaded to the ground, the small amount of redness which had collected in her face draining away. "Hey, it's okay, Twilight invited us back tomorrow. Well, today." She yawned, stretching her legs and winking. Leaning over on my mattress to see past the top bunk, a crack in the rotting ceiling revealed a darkened sky, barely enough to distinguish the barren room; nautical dawn. It must've been about five in the morning. Observing Rainbow, sleep marks covered her body, her eyelids unable to keep themselves open for longer than a couple seconds at a time.

I flushed. "Sorry for waking you up this early. Farm schedule n' all." I mumbled, embarrassed at my ridiculous working hours. "Should probably get workin' on-"

A wave of searing pain shocked through me and I crumpled into a heap on the floor, rolling to lay on my right side, less damaged than the left. Rainbow hesitated, crouching to my level.

"I don't think I'm letting you work today." She yawned, softly laying beside me on the cold floor. "You're a danger to yourself."

I subconsciously shifted closer to her, taking in the subtle heat. "Fine, I'm not one to turn down a sick day," I grumbled, ", but I'm still making breakfast."

This made her chuckle lightly. Mere inches away, I watched as Rainbow drifted in and out of consciousness, fighting to stay awake and failing miserably. Her wings unfolded gently, relaxing onto the dark floor.   
  


The striking difference of the white, fragile pinion and the trodden old wood painted an emotion in my brain I didn't know existed, and I marveled it. The sun rose far enough for rays to start protruding through openings in the ceiling. It must have been an hour before the world came back to me, my gaze falling on my housemate.

'What does a pegasus' wing feel like?' The thought drifted into my brain before I could shut it up.

Probably very plush, I think; they live on the clouds for Celestia's sake. Or maybe they're weathered, firm, more reminiscent of a python's scales than feathers. Were they strong? Did the bones in them have insides, or were they hollow like a bird's?

Questions raced as I stared at the closer wing. It folded in a bit then returned with her breathing. The queries on the anatomy I know I can ask when she wakes up, but most of them would go away if I just...touched one.

Reaching out, I got within an inch of the closest, largest feather. Any tension usually stored in the appendage disappeared in her slumber, appearing much more impressive when spread. Rainbow sleeping gave her the illusion of grace I knew she barely possessed, but it still had a nice effect.

My quaking hoof hovered over the wing, and I sighed deeply before retreating, scowling at myself. I wasn't about to violate someone, my _friend_ no less, in their sleep, no matter how curious I might be.

Gathering the blankets from the top bunk and placing them over the snoozing pegasus, I had to cover my mouth to contain an aw at Rainbow snuggling into the warmth of the covers. She smiled softly in her sleep. I snuck downstairs, hopefully giving her a few hours of sleep before the meeting.  
  
  
  


The castle doors stood, somehow deprived of their perfection. Even from our distance, Rainbow and I could see the absence of the giant heart-shaped gemstones which had previously accented them. Weren't those crystals supposed to symbolize love and tolerance among parties? If so, why did they get removed?

Trotting up the golden staircase, a dull gloom spread like fog in my mind upon sight of the entrance. The setting looked familiar, I'd seen the door behind the crystals before, just less smooth. But how-

 _Oh._ I'd seen the door behind the crystals because I'm the one who smashed them in the first place. That explains the injuries, at least.

"Hey, why did they take out those big hearts on the door?" Rainbow prodded, facing me and raising a hoof to knock.

Crap. "Uh...thing is, I-"

Opportunity to reveal the ugly truth disintegrated as the empty golden entryway swung forward energetically by both the least expected, yet least surprising pony to be in Twilight's castle.

"Morning! Glad you two could manage to persuade her, I had a feeling she'd be a little tough with you at first." Pinkie beamed, directing the second part my way. "But I can already tell she likes you."

Rainbow raised a suggestive eyebrow. "Of course she likes _us_ alright, but we're not the one's taking the walk of shame from her house."

The baker reddened, and I gaped at my roommate. All of us knew that isn't what happened, the fact that Rainbow, the most innocent pony, could be so quick and observant in her humor was inspired.

"A-alright, Twilight asked me to wait at the door for you guys, so let's, uh...let's go!" She stuttered before zooming down the long hallway, still blushing violently. I grinned at the mare beside me, who shrugged, smiling back innocently.  
  
  
  


The endless library appeared more impressive the second time around as I held open the door for Rainbow, though I attempted to appear unimpressed, again. Even if I'd've gladly sat and admired the architecture of the crystal, maybe crack the spines of a few novels and enjoy the day off, we had bigger fish to fry. Looking around, we located our pink and purple allies at the cozy common area. Princess Pocket Protector sat at one of the many desks, stacked high with boring medical books and records. Extra quills and ink bottles lay in an organized row. A clipboard held parchment on which she wrote, titled neatly in dark blue. Pinkie, on the other hoof, had flipped herself upside down on a small cushion near said desk, staring up at the stained-glass ceiling.

The princess glanced back, beckoning us over and gently poking Pinkie, who playfully scrambled to her hooves. Rainbow and I joined the pair, me avoiding prolonged eye contact with the monarch. Noting this, the alicorn gave the others a polite smile before pulling me behind the nearest bookshelf, out of earshot.

"Listen Applejack, I, I'm sorry for my hostility towards you yesterday." She muttered, kicking at the ground. "It was unjustified and a disgrace to the standards of friendship."

"Pink put you up to this, huh." I alleged, not attempting to restrain an unimpressed look.

She scowled, clenching her jaw. "I'm only trying to lighten the air between us before we embarrass ourselves in front of our..." The princess paused, spotting the two from between the shelves. "...colleagues."

I smirked down at her. "Is 'colleague' the best way you can describe her? Such the romantic."

To her credit, she didn't blush. "What is there to romanticize? Our relationship is strictly platonic, and I am, in fact, heterosexual." She stated, giving off the becoming-familiar air of professionalism and formality I oh-so heartily detested.

It sounded metal, like she had rehearsed it; to the press, perhaps? The thought of their relationship burdened by the media set off a spark of pity inside me. Maybe she hated me since I reminded her of the mare she thought she couldn't have.

"Do you know why I saved you?"

The unexpected topic change threw me off guard, but I recovered quickly from the depressing narrative in my brain.

"Because you didn't want my death on your conscience?" I bargained, putting my hooves together to symbolize an angel.

"No. It's because I saw, in the last second, that you didn't want Rainbow's death on yours."

Something...snapped.

I strode toward her, one strong, heavy hoof fall at a time. I backed us both into a darker corner of shelves; a dead end. She propped herself onto her hind legs and I did the same, forcefully pinning her against the shelves. The muscles in my jaw almost refused to move due to constrained pressure in which I ground my teeth.

"You. Knew." I growled, nostrils flaring uncontrollably. My blood had run cold, the shaking in my hooves dangerously high. "You knew she was in trouble the second you saw her eyes. Every snide comment, the distasteful glances. You want to torture me, to watch as I'm powerless to stop the disorder from taking her. You kept me alive longer, so I could witness the death of the one I admire the most."

I moved my pulsing hooves to the royal's shoulders, gripping them until I saw her visibly wince. Still, a smug smirk remained on that face. My eyes were wide with malice; this mare was a psychopath.

Though I regrettably done no damage thus far, I chose the sensible route. Taking a deep breath, I released my grip on the princess, setting the pair of us down.

"Rainbow and I are done here, away from your disgusting mind games, before you actually start getting dangerous. I'll cure her, I'll spend the rest of my life trying. Never contact the two of us again. If you do, we will go into hiding." I turned my back to hers, catching a glimpse of Rainbow and-

Pinkie. "And don't think for a second that I would go without the _entirety_ of my family. Now do Equestria a favor and bury yourself alive." I hissed.

I made it within a foot of the last bookshelf hiding me from view before being spun around to face the princess. Her smirk of satisfaction almost got punched off her face, but I somehow yielded.

"You wonderful, wonderful mare. That is the exact response I needed before I could trust you, not only with my effort, but also my _own_ family." She whispered, her eyes alight with joy, the first time I hadn't seen at least a trace of loathing. Her eyes wandered between the wooden frames of the shelves, spotting the party pony. Tears began to shed, and she abruptly turned back to me, smiling wide. "Now, I can't forgive you for everything you've done yet. And I don't know if I ever truly will. But let me make this clear to you: I will do everything I can to save Rainbow Dash.

I will find the cure. Even if I have to make it up myself."


	17. Not Who She Was

Rainbow's Pov:

AJ and Twilight emerged from behind the bookshelf, prancing towards us with smiles on their faces. The princess' grew wider in every passing second, while AJ kept hers hidden, painting on the usual disinterested persona. But her eyes gave her away as they shone, unable to cover the excitement flooding through her veins. At least, that's what I saw.

The party pony's grin surpassed the others' as the princess sat back at the desk, checking a tiny box on the clipboard's paper list. "So she did it then! She passed the test!" Pinkie yipped, bounding toward Twilight and wagging her tail.

The royal chuckled. "With flying colors."

Her and Pinkie shared a knowing glance towards me. Identical smirks curled their lips before they distracted themselves with the paper. Twilight's quill zoomed across the page, Pinkie whispering changes and suggestions over the controller's shoulder, blocking out any further conversation.

I turned to where AJ had rooted herself to the spot."There's a reason you were tested. Those two spent time planning out that little scheme in the bookshelves and Twilight seems normal when you're around. What did you say to pass the test?"

Her secret delight vanished. Rolling her eyes and letting out a huff, the tanned mare cast her gaze to the side, flicking her hat so it lay at an incline. Even so, I didn't miss the slight tint of carnation pink rising to the bases of her ears. "Nothin' important. She just realized I'm not a self-centered bitch, I guess."

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Even if AJ swore fairly often, the tone of her voice set off alarm bells in my head. Whatever the test was about, she still held resentment towards both the subject matter and the teacher; I didn't subscribe to the idea of pouring gas on an already roaring flame. Pointing to a couple cushions, AJ and I plopped down, passing the time with a silent game of eye spy. This cheered her up a bit, thankfully.

The production of the mystery document dragged on for several minutes, during which the library became virtually silent, except for the continuous scritch-scratchings of the quill, and the occasional mutter of approval from Pinkie.   
  


"Alright girls!" Twilight began, leaving one final mark on the document and setting down the feather pen. "Our involvement is final. We'll be helping you two find the cure to the rarest, most difficult disorder in the known world. With your consent, you will be subjected to the best solutions and exercises for lessening, and eventually eradicating the symptoms of your disorders! By what Pinkie has informed me, there are several different types to categorize based on origin, each specialization taking the form of an iris modification, all on the spectrum of-"

"We get it Porchlight, you're excited to make us your lab rats." AJ sneered, effortlessly cutting through the princess' monologue.

The princess cast a stern look at the farm pony. "Applejack, that isn't what I-" She sighed, taking a moment to reinforce some passion in her voice. "You two just sit and listen. We can explain our running solution."

My eyes widened; had they found the cure overnight? An optimistic smile crept onto my face, but my partner appeared unconvinced.

"There ain't a chance in hell you got a cure in less than a day. What's the catch." Her lips had pressed into a tight frown, and she crossed her arms on the cushion.

Pinkie smiled weakly, speaking to someone who wasn't Twilight for the first time in twenty minutes. "There might be a couple _teensy-weensy_ little problems. But we think they can be fixed over time, don't worry! The first thing is that, um, we're not sure how long the effects will last, so we'll be using a smaller dosage for the first attempt."

"Dosage?" I faltered, searching their expressions to see if they were joking.

They weren't. AJ's eyebrows furrowed. "All the magic in Equestria at your disposal and your first impulse is medicine? What are the supposed effects, once we take these 'dosages'?"

Twilight smirked. "Since when are magic and medicine exclusive? We aren't kidding when we say it's experimental. Another issue is the two of you: Only one of you can be worked on at a time, since we need all the help we can get when it comes to recording the information. As for the effects..." She paused, biting the inside of her cheek. Could she not think of what to say, or was she attempting to think of a lie?

"Have either of you ever read Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?" Pinkie suggested.

Twilight lit up, ogling the baker. "Um, yes, that's the perfect way to describe it, Pinkie, thank you." The princess stammered, breaking her awestruck stare, concentration gone, a red hue warming her cheeks. At the sight of this, Pinkie coughed, hiding her own colored face behind her hoof.

Catching my attention, AJ rolled her eyes, mouthing the words,' Skinny love '. I grinned, mouthing back,' At it's finest. '.

AJ cleared her throat, ending the flustered tension. "In the story, Dr. Jekyll attempts to convince the world that two conjoined sides of an individual exist, a good and a bad. After not getting a prisoner to use as an expendable subject, he experiments on himself, bringing forth his,' bad self'. He starts losing control of when it would appear, ends up ruining his and countless others' lives. Is that what you're sayin'? That we're the bad side of who we used to be?"

Pinkie's jaw went slack. "No no no, of course not Applejack! I meant, you know, you're obviously not who you used to be, not bad or good! Right now you're a random generation, like a mixed bag of candies. If you shake the bag, all the same goodies are still there, but you see different pieces than before."

"She's right. The change only made you a customization of who you used to be, not a direct opposition, or evil by any means. Unless you were before the disorder." Twilight nodded in agreement.

Everypony glanced questioningly at AJ, who scowled. "Screw you guys, let's get to work."  
  


AJ's Pov:

After several hours of tedious paperwork, medical history, and allergen specification, Pinkie and Twilight finally decided to set their sights on the real experimentation. The princess left the room, returning with a tiny glass bottle containing two black-and-white pills, placing it on the desk. Each pill was about the size of an almond, split in half between the colors.

Uncorking the minuscule bottle, Twilight tipped it slowly until one of it's entrails plunked onto the wood surface. Quickly resealing the others, she summoned a small blade similar to a scalpel with her magic, cutting the tiny drug to half of the original size. Having sensed the change, the pieces reformed into two circular, separate pills; one black, one white.

Damn alicorn and her magical efficiency.

She took the pill in the bottle and confined it to a plastic bag labeled 'Subject Two', then moved the black part of the cut pill into a plastic case, giving the white half to Rainbow.

"Wait a damn minute," I barked, ", why in Celestia's name is she going first? She's just gotten the disorder a week ago, what if her body reacts negatively to all the stimuli, especially in such a short amount of time!?"

"There's nothing to be concerned about, Princess Charming, she's had more than enough time to adjust to the changes. The entire purpose of this test is to momentarily reset the effects and mark the differences between before and after so we can see what consequences are putting her most at risk." Twilight reminded, handing Rainbow the shot, speaking to her in an undertone.

A hoof on my shoulder stopped me from storming over and snatching the glass away.

"Apples, I know you're worried for her," Pinkie said gently into my ear, ", but you need to relax. This is the easiest way to find the problems before they surface. She needs to get a little bit hurt before we can find the cure."

I shrugged her off. Even though she's right, knowing what would transpire with my submission made me uneasy.  
  


Twilight finished muttering to her subject, stepping back to grab the clipboard. "Whenever you're ready."

Rainbow's milky eyes found mine, no different than the very first time. In them lay desperation, confusion, and fear, like a bomb had been strapped to her chest. Then they softened as she saw my own worry reflected right back from my corrupted irises, her composure shining in my panic.

With a last second, Rainbow rose the glass to her lips and took the shot.  
  


As soon as the pill vanished, she froze. In moments she began to pant, wings flexing and relaxing, eyes shut tight while biting her tongue. Her quaking muscles were growing fast, lean and thin like a swimmer's. The pale blue coat exploded with an unmistakable sky blue, her mane and tail popping unexpectedly into a wild pallet of every basic color on the spectrum, followed by the wings, which extended fully for the first time since I'd met her, powerful and smooth.

'This', I thought, slight frown invading my fake awe,' is exactly what I expected her to look like before I was certain she had Borderline.' I'm don't think I would enjoy the change. Even now, she looked a little...much, for my liking. Would the old me have liked this version the same way I like the present Rainbow?

A piercing scream called me from my internal struggle. She had fallen to her knees, clutching her head and trembling. Her eyes rolled back into her head. She gasped, then let out a groan as her eyes slid down again, an unfamiliar red color coating her irises like cheap strawberry syrup. Sucking in a shaky breath, the pegasus collapsed fully onto the floor.

I trotted slowly to the mare, watching closely. By the time her consciousness arrived, I stood directly in front of her. The mare shifted to her forelegs, grimacing, then opened her eyes to spot mine glaring back.

She didn't back off, instead observing me with interest.

"Gotta love it when she does that, dontcha..." She muttered under her breath, voice huskier than normal. She cast a meaningful search up and down my body, a grin toying at her lips. I hardened my gaze; this girl might be a good candidate for a broken rib or two, if I knew my Rainbow wasn't in there somewhere.

The look-alike stretched their limbs, ignoring the many cracks and snaps accompanying the action. Her twisted smile never wavered as she took a couple steps closer, not minding my personal space. "Of course, it's not like she has to do much to impress you. Standing there with the composure of a soldier, tan and intimidating." She hissed, warm breath tangling with my own, before leaning into my ear, "Not a bad kisser either."

I stepped back, the knowledge that she wasn't in her right mind the only thing stopping an insane blush spreading to my face. "You're tellin' me. I'm not the one who initiated it."

Her flirtatious banter stopped, magenta eyes widening. She glanced at herself, around the room, and back to me, an annoyingly-superior expression of mirth hanging off her mouth.

"So you're the 'AJ' I've been hearing so much about."


	18. Subconcious

The pill rattled against the glass as I held it up, uncertainty clouding my brain. There were no prior tests or even a proper explanation of what this would do when I took it. A mild fight or flight response triggered thousands of different scenarios that might take place in my next moments, mania welling like bile in my throat. What cruel imagination.

"Whenever you're ready." Twilight stressed, caution lacing her stance as she stepped back, clipboard and quill magically suspended, attention locked on me.

Nothing could stop me from handing this 'solution' back to the princess, politely excusing myself and leaving, to live out an unpredictable, uncured life at Sweet Apple Acres with AJ.

 _AJ_.

I sought Applejack one last time, seeking strength I couldn't summon on my own. Surprise, of that I couldn't describe, is all I got in return.

The panic in her eyes showed double what I felt. I found worry in that stare, edging on recklessness. I found pain. I found a pleading, deranged victim, exposed to the prospect of another dose of misery among countless others. But most of all, I found my own peace, knowing I would fight the odds against anything terrible inevitably headed our way; for our sake.

With much less trepidation, I took the shot.  
  


Darkness enveloped, taking it's time in deciding on a form. First it pictured a light grey sky, plopping me on a small black bench made of thunderstorming clouds, one of many in the clearness of day. The scene erased slowly, fading into nothingness before transforming to brown, shifting as a cozy diner with a corner booth seat. Yet again the setting redesigned, over and over until settling finally on a small, enclosed room, rather similar to a tornado bunker.

Through the lack of light, I sensed something solid beneath me, probably a chair. This reality felt solid and secure compared to the others, the only one where I inhabited a body, if that made sense. Even though I knew it was my body, I couldn't see it because of some sort of veil or coat, made of something that felt like a blend between silk and oil.

One other object had materialized; a second chair, occupied by a figure who wore a draping cloak, probably the same as mine. Their hood was raised, face hidden in shadow.

Labored breath infiltrated the quiet, sleeves wrinkled as they hugged themselves around the middle, trembling hard. "She is gone. She might not come back. This is not her, this is not her, this is not her." They muttered, clutching at the dense material of their robe.

"Who are you talking about?" My voice spilled out faster than I could contain it, and I hastened to cover my mouth, but couldn't. When trying to express the fear beating through my rib cage, my face remained blank.

The stranger startled, a blackish-grey muzzle poking out as their stiffened posture made the hood fall back slightly. They relaxed considerably after a beat, an air of composure returning. "You are not supposed to be here, love."

Without such desperation, the voice was decidedly female. Although difficult to tell under the cloak, I recognized her to have a strong-built body, if not weirdly...indecisive. Her appearance flickered and faded like someone broke the settings fiddling with the rotary dials of a television.

"Why can't I move, did I do something wrong?" Again the words seemed ripped from me before I knew I even had them. "Why can't I control what I say? Why-"

She held up a hoof, shutting my mouth instantly. "You are not at fault for inexperience, much as your lack of fault in being here in the first place. This," the being gestured around us, " is your temporary settlement in what your kind acknowledge as the subconscious. Your slipping of the tongue and stillness of the body are precautions, placed in order to protect those in a position of lower merit. With you being a mortal with no prior intelligence on the power of mentality, the system automatically placed you in the role of a novice controller." She spoke sagely, in no rush to explain the complexity of her existence.

Her hoof lowered, lifting the silencing charm, launching me head-first into another confessed thought. "Is there a reason we're wearing cloaks?"

The entity chuckled appreciatively while shutting me up. "Indeed so. In the normal arrangement, I share this space with a companion whose face I know not. Our garments are meant to conceal identities for the right moment; when our subjects' souls are safe and intertwined, we are allowed to remove them in lieu of spiritual unity, of nothing to hide or fear. We have not achieved the requirements, and thus the cloaks stay."

Her hooded gaze shifted to the side, reflecting solemnly on the words before refocusing on me, allowing the interrogation to continue.

"What are the requirements?" I monotone instantly.

In what must have been more than a minute's time, the mare contemplated, staring aimlessly at the dusky room. "At times, I've been certain my subject has found them, that her covet for a peaceful settlement may finally be within reach. Then I attempt to remove the cloak. I have not, to this very day. My companion's efforts are no more fruitful than my own, though she experiences similar occasions of hope. To save your tongue the energy, no, we are unable to reveal the identities of each other's subjects. Uncertainty is a given, of course, but I am suspicious as of a certain new individual. Not that you have the ability to confirm nor deny." She hummed, wistfully peering through her darkened veil into mine. "We can only wonder..."

"So the whole subconscious thing isn't just to keep ponies' thoughts and stuff, but also to find their-" I paused, tremulously considering my next words. "...soulmates?" I attempted a whisper.

The notion that I was talking to the deepest, darkest voice of my literal other half's, well, _soul_ , was insane. If my face didn't feel like it had been reconstructed out of cement, I'd be beaming.

Her head tilted a fraction, then nodded slowly. "A broadened designation, yet correct in ideology. When the opportunity is taken, our subjects' realities flourish greater together than ever deemed possible alone. Connection will mean benefits for both parties, including companionship, betterment of the self, and," She faltered, tugging at the sleeve of her cloak. "And healing. Dear god, the healing she requires."

The shadowed mare cleared her throat, as close to embarrassment as you'd ever expect a...whatever she was...to have. "I apologize, perhaps my outburst frightened you." Her voice leveled out, reconstituted perfectly from one moment of weakness.

"What has she gone through to need that kind of healing?" I wish I sounded less robotic, asking such a personal question.

She looked down into an abyss of memories. "The...her family. At the hooves of cruel fate and genetic misfortune. First went her parents, in a carriage crash when she was no older than a foal. From then on they lived in poverty, under the care of their grandmother. An argument, of many, led to the accidental death of her sister. Her brother committed suicide, shortly followed by the diagnosis of Alzheimer's in her grandmother.

Her family meant everything, horrible as they were. They broke her, took what little she had and didn't. Eventually, one option remained in her mind, as much as I begged her to reconsider...

After the attempt of taking her own life succeeded, the world began to fade. I could no longer see, hear her struggling cries; I thought it was over, that I had failed. But...she survived.

Now her voice is hard. She is unforgiving, mistrusting. Nothing except her work, day in and out. I prayed, for the moment in which somepony stronger than me would come and fulfill her life again, make it better than it ever was. At least, as well as it could have been before the Borderline." She conceded, scratching her ear in a cat-like manner.

The world stopped on it's axis. She actually said-

"I know who she is." I spat, the room's power forcing the honest truth out of me. The being stared, mouth visibly parted under the hood.

"I am in no way allowed to reveal the identity of my subject; you must be mistaken."

"You didn't have to. You said a word I've only ever heard one other pony in the world speak since this last week. My soulmate, one of the few capable of understanding and being able to say Borderline."

The figure's expression turned blank. Slowly, ever so gently, her hooves rose, calmly removing the darkened veil, letting it gracefully plummet to her shoulders.

Her coat, less shaded from the hood, could be seen as a burnt orange. In waves, the being's toasted-blonde mane hung thick, ethereal, a stark contrast to her seemingly-plain eyes which shone emerald green in the low light of the dingy room. She took away my breath, not because of her beauty, but because she perfectly resembled...

Applejack's subconscious cracked a wicked smile. "It took you long enough to perceive. Now, we must only wait for my subject to do the same."


	19. An Odd Conclusion

AJ's Pov:

"So you're the 'AJ' I've been hearing so much about."

This...thing, was the opposite of what I was used to. Her razor-sharp attention focused on me harsher with each passing breath. By entertaining such a colorful appearance, the mare's eyes were dark and menacing; piercing, and deceptive, like a haunted house in the abandoned back area of an amusement park.

"Listen pal, I don't really give a damn what you have to say unless it's about Rainbow's-well, your past, I guess. This isn't about anyone but her."

"Oh, always your knight in shining armor," the entity muttered under her breath, grinning devilishly, "Though you are both idiotic enough to let this nonexistent Borderline prioritize your minds."

I flared up immediately. "Excuse you?"

She split her grin further. "I can't tell you outright, you'll just get more upset with me. And this is much funner. Honestly, it's so like the two of you to make this complicated solution to such a simple problem." She sighed, biting the inside of her cheek, somehow maintaining her gloating smile. "Everyone'll be so disappointed."

"What in...you know what, I ain't even gonna bother. What do you know about the Borderline that we don't?"

The mare giggled, and snorted, then absolutely howled with laughter. "That's the best part! I know everything more than you, but it _doesn't matter_ , can't you see? Who am I kidding, of course you can't. But you will, don't worry, that's why you summoned me, even if you didn't know. Princess?"

She addressed Twilight who, admittedly, I'd forgotten was in the room. Looking around a bit, they had both relocated to one of the bean bag chairs, the notes and clipboard forgotten as they watched with keen interest. Pinkie held a bucket of popcorn, which she almost spilled as Twilight got up ungracefully, brushing off spare kernels of their shared snack.

"Uh, yes? Did you need something?"

A kind smile graced the pegasus. "Yes, actually. Could you please summon up a whiteboard, and maybe a few markers?"

She started to ask, but must've thought better of it, because a second later the desired items flashed into being surrounded by a pink aura.

The other Rainbow clomped her hooves together excitedly. "Thank you very much, Princess Sparkle, your goodliness. Please continue watching our little show, alongside your pinkly soulmate."

This time Pinkie really _did_ spill the popcorn. Twilight's eyes went wide, unable to manage out more than a faint stammer. I turned to the pegasus, a half-disbelieving, half-approving expression adorning my face.

"What? We might have strict rules about not revealing our own subject's soulmate, but Celestia-be-damned if I'm not gonna reveal anypony else's. And," She put on a loud whisper, "It's pretty obvious. Go on, don't let us stop you."

The two glanced at each other, then stood and walked to the door, neither daring even a glance in the other's direction. Holding the door open for Pinkie, Twilight let it nearly close on the both of them before sticking her head back, clearly flustered, and overjoyed.

"I..." She stumbled, the genuine delight in her eyes greater than I'd ever seen. "...thank you, forever."

And she galloped to the end of the long hallway to meet Pinkie in the few seconds it took the door to close.  
  


"Hey. That was really good of you to do."

My words broke the silence, complete apart from her taking the dry-erase markers one-by-one, removing the caps with her mouth, and spitting them onto the floor.

She finished her current marker before responding. "I don't know. I'm always plotting, I mean, of stuff I could've done when it was me. Because I was me, at some point. Now I'm so much more, so different. I used to be...arrogant, and prideful, and...just not _your_ Rainbow. Even if I'd hardly been given opportunity as a foal, I still could've done better. What I did, just now I mean...that's paying for lost time. Maybe some scrap of good will come out of that, further along the road than I'd ever have been able to travel." She shrugged, picking up the scattered floor caps.

I contemplated the mare for several minutes, until she smacked the hat off my head. "Yo King Sombre-a, I asked for this board for a reason. Not the time for you to zone out, kapeesh?"

She apparently took my glare as a sign to continue. "Right! So see here:"

Propelling herself up slightly, her wings created a breeze as, in red, she drew two intersecting circles. One side had been labeled 'Problems' in black marker, the other identical except in silver.

A simplistic Venn diagram.

"This one," she indicated the black-text side, "represents your recent problems involving Borderline. I would like you to add the numerous issues and terrors this disease has, let me stress this again, _recently,_ added to your life." The other Rainbow tossed me a marker. "Go ahead; I'm sorry if there isn't enough room on the board."

I rolled my eyes, and just as I leaned in, the tip about to touch the board...I faltered.

The airborne mare tilted her head in confusion. "Hm? You're telling me there haven't been many problems in the past week or so? Weird...well, as Rainbow's subconscious, I can safely confirm the multitude stresses in her life involving this sudden outbreak of such a terrible curse. I will now use my insight and wisdom to list every problem-wait a second!"

She stared agape at the empty circle. "I can't seem to find any! Odd, indeed. So this is where it starts getting complicated:"

If Applejack couldn't remember why she'd detested this girl before, she did now. Still, she rambled on.

"This slipet in the chart is where the magic happens. It takes all the similar problems in the two circles and filters them helpfully into a much tinier, easier-to-process window. So let's just-huh. I guess there aren't many similar problems."

I looked below the diagram, where an emboldened title had been scrawled onto the board.

**_Solutions:_ **

The word triggered a strange surge of emotion throughout my body. She wrote it hastily, like her lack of effort proved some grand scheme, like the real Rainbow and I's problems could be fixed with a cheap apology card.

I huffed, getting in the other Rainbow's space, volume raised. "So what are you saying?! If there aren't any joint problems, or hell, any problems-"

The sky-blue mare crashed to the floor, cupping my face and yelling even louder than I was, grinning like a madmare. "Then why in Equestria are you looking for a solution, when there hasn't been a real problem since the moment you met her!"

And she slammed her mouth to mine, knocking me over in a powerful, dominant kiss that, in the light of those unbelievable words, I barely comprehended receiving.  
  


Rainbow's Pov:

Resurfacing from the depths of my mind, it didn't surprise me that I was in the exact place and time my subconscious had been before the switch.

What _did,_ was the exact position. Though it hadn't really been the first time, my body and lips pressed flush against AJ's back , the shock factor alone forced me to stop. My heart pounded uncontrollably: not because of the weird circumstance, or that she didn't know we were soulmates, but because she did know; and she wasn't kissing back.

Applejack's eyes refocused on mine. They searched endlessly until she relaxed, breaking into her softest smile. "You have no idea how much I missed you."

An irritatingly-gentle tone unintentionally softened my words. "Yeah, I uh...learned a lot while I was gone. I think it'll help us more than any lessons or books will." I internally groaned. I needed to sound tough and intimidatingly-intelligent, like she always was!

AJ nodded, a spark in her gaze lighting a fire in her smile. "Same here. I hope my subconscious wasn't as obnoxious as yours. No offense." She amended, grinning weakly.

"Less obnoxious, more...cryptic. But I think she sorta gave us the solution we needed."

"Mmhm. We're thinking the same thing, right?" The farmpony growled, quieter than breathing.

_God, I hope so._

I swallowed imperceptibly before blurting the impossible words.

"You're my soulmate; I don't need the solution."  
"There's no one solution; it's just you."

Neither of us moved, enraptured. AJ's mouth parted, letting out a hoarse whisper. "I didn't need to know we were destined to be together. I just needed to know you were safe."

I leaned closer, ghosting my lips over hers. "And I didn't want to be safe. You always made taking risks worth it."

"You're not disappointed," she muttered, reaching her face upwards to hiss into my ear, "That there ain't hardly ever been anything to get so concerned over? No grand scheme, or-"

I pushed her back to the floor, kissing her lightly and slow. Every ounce of confidence she possessed a second before melted away, replaced by a delicate hoof cupping my cheek. Both of us smiled as we pulled back.

 _This,_ I thought. _I never needed anything but this. And now, it's not just what I needed. It's all I ever want again._


End file.
